10. A Feminine Approach to Goal-Setting and Growth
Do you ever feel like you're so focused on the next goal that you rarely pause to celebrate how far you've come? What if your greatest growth comes not just from taking action, but from reflection and inner wisdom?
In this episode, it’s time to dive into the power of looking inward, releasing what's held you back, and reconnecting with your inner self. This is your moment to honor the woman you've become, savor your wins, and set bold, purposeful desires for the year ahead. Step into 2025 not just with ambition, but with confidence, clarity, and purpose.
Tune in this week to discover a transformative practice of reflection to help you align with what matters most to you. This is all about tapping into your inner wisdom, so you can set aligned goals that truly move your life forward in the coming months.
If you haven’t already, please follow the podcast and leave a rating and review to let me know what you think. I'm creating this show just for you, so I want to know what you would like to hear about in the coming episodes. Find complete instructions here!
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
How to pause and celebrate your accomplishments from a space of abundance and openness.
Why regret can be a powerful teacher to help you notice what really matters to you.
How to release thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that no longer serve you.
My tips for staying aligned and empowered as you move through your end-of-year reflection.
How to define your personal and professional desires for 2025 and take them seriously.
Why reflection and inner wisdom, not just action, are key to your growth and fulfillment.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
If you haven’t already, please follow the podcast and leave a rating and review to let me know what you think. Find complete instructions here!
Full Episode Transcript:
As ambitious, high-achieving women, we're often so focused on that next goal, that next milestone, that we rarely pause to celebrate how far we've actually come. But what if your greatest growth comes from reflection and inner wisdom, not just taking action? In today's episode, we're diving into the power of looking inward, releasing what's held you back, reconnecting with your inner self. This is your moment to honor the woman you've become, savor your wins, and set bold, purposeful desires for the year ahead. Step into 2025 not just with ambition, but with confidence, clarity, and purpose.
Welcome to The Balanced Leader, hosted by Yann Dang, a Leadership and Life Coach with over 20 years of corporate experience. Drawing from her journey as a former global finance leader and second-generation immigrant, Yann understands the unique challenges women face in male-dominated workplaces.
Each episode offers insights on balancing masculine and feminine energies, mastering soft skills, and building emotional intelligence. Join us to transform frustration into empowerment and unlock your authentic leadership potential.
Hello listeners, welcome to today's episode. I know some of you might be celebrating not Christmas, but other holidays, but I want to welcome you into the space and say happy holidays and share with you an episode that is really about pausing and reflecting and not doing, which is a really feminine space.
As ambitious, high-achieving women, we're often so focused on the next goal, the next to-do, the next milestone, and we rarely take time to pause and celebrate how far we've come. There is a fear of celebrating, right? Sometimes people feel like if I celebrate something bad will happen or the other shoe will drop. But what I want to welcome you into is this idea that you can still pause and celebrate and still work on your goals. It is not an all or nothing world. It is really about celebrating and reflecting. And if you think about the holiday season, it is really a time to be in this feminine space of savoring, celebrating, and pausing.
So what we're going to dive into today is really thinking about how, from reflection and inner wisdom, we're able to learn about what is most important to us, what matters to us, what our growth and potential is. I think in society, a lot of people think that they have to look outside of themselves for what's next, for someone to lead them, for some person or some organization or entity to show them the way. But in today's episode, I am giving you an opportunity to not look outside of yourself for this wisdom, but to look inside yourself and to look at your past experiences as great teaching guides for what really matters to you.
Today, we're diving into a transformative practice of reflection, an opportunity not only to savor your wins, but also to set bold, purposeful intentions for the year ahead. This isn't just about planning for 2025, it's about stepping into the new year with clarity, confidence, and a deep sense of purpose. But before we dive into that, let's ground ourselves. Wherever you are right now, I invite you to close your eyes if you're able and take a deep breath. For those of you who are listening and driving, please don't do this. Please make sure that you are at a safe place or that you've stopped your car before closing your eyes to do this. We want you to be safe.
All right, so for those of you who can, please go ahead and close your eyes, take a deep breath in, and let's begin by repeating the following mantra together. I am right where I need to be. I am right where I need to be. I am right where I need to be. I want you to notice how those words hit you. I want you to notice the sensations in your body. And as you say this to yourself, remember, this doesn't mean you don't desire growth or change, it simply means that in this moment, you are grounded, you are safe. You are exactly where you need to be to learn, grow, and reflect from a space of abundance and openness. This is really where we want you to do the practice from.
This reflection time shouldn't be rushed. It shouldn't be another to-do. It really should be thought of as a sacred space to go inward. And so I invite you, if you are doing this and you have a candle nearby that you want to have that vibe and that smell of relaxation, I actually have my pumpkin cake candle next to me that my friend Ashley got me for my birthday. And I also invite you to put some light music on if that's going to relax you. Put that do-not-disturb sign on if you're in the office and have some time for yourself. Or if you're like me and have kids and it's busy in your house, find some space outside of your house to listen to this podcast episode again and take some time to do this powerful reflection.
Let's start with this simple yet powerful question. What are you most proud of this year and why? Think back to your year. What did you accomplish that makes you proud? What did you do or how are you being that helped you? Whether it's personal, professional, or even a decision you made to prioritize yourself, take a moment to reflect on the wins. Too often, we pass our successes without taking time to honor them. But right now, I want you to really feel that pride. Take a deep breath and notice what brings you pride. What impact did this achievement have on you? How did it shape your growth? What was it? Take a deep breath and give yourself the space to celebrate these accomplishments.
And they can be beyond the professional world. They could be telling a truth to someone that you have been worried about saying to them. It could be making a choice to go across the country to go visit a friend that you historically would have put off. I know this year I made the decision to go to Paris to celebrate the wedding of one of my favorite direct reports, Ann Lee. She might be listening to this. I went to Paris and I was with her and with other people that were part of my team when I was in the corporate world. And I think a lot of people would say, wow, that was a hard trip to make. You have two little kids. How did you take the time to make it? And for me, it was really about following my heart and also about listening to what really matters to me. And also reflecting on regrets that I've had in years past for missing weddings of important people when I was living abroad and it was difficult to go. I really regret missing these weddings, these important milestones. And for this particular person, for Ann, I was not going to miss this wedding.
So think about what you're proud of, right? It could be something more personal, putting yourself first, maybe investing in yourself through coaching, through personal training sessions. It could also be working really hard on a project that you're so proud of that made a real big difference, but you haven't allowed yourself time to really sit and celebrate it.
Take that time, celebrate your wins, do an inventory of them. I often like to encourage my clients to go month by month because there's a way our brain, right, is very focused on the negative and we'll zero in on that. And sometimes we need to direct ourselves and intentionally push ourselves towards celebrating what those things were. And if you go month by month, you can create a bigger list. The longer you sit with it, the more your brain is going to work harder to find those things that maybe you overlooked when you first thought about celebrating, especially if it's a muscle you haven't really practiced.
And then the next question you want to ask yourself is, what do you regret about this year? Regret is something we all carry, whether it's a missed opportunity, a decision that didn't go as planned, or something you wish you had handled differently. But instead of letting that regret or guilt weigh you down, think about how it can be a teacher. I think this is so important because regret allows us to notice ourselves what really matters to us, not how it matters to other people, but to ourselves. What lessons did your regrets offer you this year? And how can they guide your choices moving forward? Acknowledging regret doesn't have to be heavy. It can be freeing, liberating. When you see it for what it is, you can release it.
So for example, when I did this practice for myself last year, one of the things that I really regretted was not planning a trip for my husband and I. We had lots of trips planned for family events, family vacations, seeing grandparents, seeing other relatives. We had work trips planned. He had his own work trips. I had my own. But one of the things I really regret from 2023 was not planning a trip with my husband and prioritizing our couple. Even though we have young children, even though we have lots of other things going in our lives, even though we're super responsible when it comes to work and parenting, what I truly regretted was not putting our relationship on that priority list, you know, putting it at the bottom.
So this year, when we had the opportunity to go to the Bahamas together, just the two of us. And it was going to be a short trip. And I was actually going to be away from my children for quite a while, because I went pretty much straight from Paris, came home for a couple of days, and then my husband and I went to the Bahamas. And we were so grateful for having help and support to have our kids taken care of. But we took the time. It wasn't easy either to step away from our kids, from our life, from our responsibilities, from our demanding jobs. But we took the time to go and have a trip, just the two of us. And it was big for me. And it was big for my husband as well. But for me, it came from that regret. That whole deciding for us to do that came from the regret from the year before.
So I really want you to take in what you regretted this year. What is that for yourself? Is it not telling somebody you loved them before they passed away? Is it not seeing friends or family? Is it not putting your hands in the hat for a promotion opportunity that was presented towards you? Do you regret not even trying to go for it? Do you regret talking yourself out of it? You want to notice an inventory for yourself. What are these regrets? And again, it's not about blaming. It's not about self beat up. It's really about diving into what matters most to you. Listening to that inner wisdom inside that says, wow, I wish I would have done something differently. I am noticing an emotion, a sadness, a guilt that I wasn't there for myself, right, or I wasn't there for my couple. Like that's kind of how I felt at the end of last year. So notice what that is for you, and take time to reflect on it, to acknowledge it, and to allow it to inform how you want to move ahead. This is where that wisdom comes from.
And then the next question you want to ask yourself, and this is really around your own mindset and your own way of being with yourself, but what thoughts, beliefs, or emotions do you want to let go of before stepping into the next year, right? What are some of the things that you've struggled with? And I want to let you know that some of these things that we're releasing, right? Some of these, maybe it's self-judgment, maybe it's perfectionism, maybe it's mom guilt. Part of this is saying that we want to release it. It doesn't mean that it will go away magically, right? But this is really an opportunity to tell the universe, to tell God, if you're religious, to tell people what you want to be free of. And the more that I let myself say it out loud and tell other people about it, the more and more I'm released from these feelings. Doesn't mean that I don't have them occasionally, but I'm more aware of them and I'm more aware that I want to release these feelings because they are not helpful or supportive of me, of who I'm becoming. And I like to remind myself that it is a lot of old programming and that's okay.
So you want to think to yourself, what is it that you want to be releasing? Are you holding a lot of guilt? Are you holding a lot of regret? Are you holding a lot of self-judgment? One of the things that I've picked on for myself this year is how much I allow perfectionism to get in the way of me being present, to get in the way of me moving forward with things, to get in the way of me savoring and celebrating. So you want to notice these things about yourself, and you want to name them, because naming them is that powerful self-awareness, and it allows you to intercept yourself and to release it when you notice it. When I notice myself getting overly perfect about things or being super hard on myself, I can say, listen, Yann, this is old ways of thinking and feeling, and you can release this. You can let it go. But this time of reflection really gives you that opportunity to take a deep breath and notice and name for yourself what is it that you want to be releasing from your life. What thoughts, beliefs, or emotions.
And on the other side of this, if this is what you want to be releasing, what is it that you want to be embracing? What thoughts, feelings, or beliefs do you want to embrace for this year ahead? What energy do you want to carry with you into this next year? Maybe it’s confidence, joy, self-compassion, a sense of wonder, or possibility. Picture these feelings filling you up, grounding you, and propelling you forward. You want to hold on to these positive intentions and imagine them guiding you and moving you into this next chapter. This is your time to claim the emotions and thoughts that will shape your future ahead.
So for me one of the things that I keep going back to that I want to keep working on is this thought that I'm living my dream life. That I am truly living my dream life. And I keep going back to finding evidence of how is that true. The other thing that I want to embrace, right, and this is the opposite of that self-judgment. The other thing that I'm working for myself to embrace is my emotions, the negative emotions, my, what I call moodiness, right? Instead of being annoyed with myself and beating myself up, I want to learn how to sit with myself in these moody times that I've just noticed I have more and more of, and to embrace them and not to judge them so much, to give myself time to be with them.
I have a three-year-old who has lots of emotions, and sometimes my husband and I just want her to behave and not have all of her emotions. But I also realize she is working things out for herself. She's trying to figure it out. What is making her upset? Why is she upset? And part of expressing those negative emotions is releasing them. So I want to be embracing my emotions in order to release them and move ahead versus this cycle of holding on to my emotions, judging myself and kind of keep doing this cycle where I'm judging myself and I'm moody and I'm judging myself, I'm moody. I just want to give myself permission to be moody, express it and move on.
So you want to notice for yourself, what is it that you want to embrace? I mean, it could be confidence, joy, self-compassion, a sense of possibility, but it could be discomfort, right? It could be, I want to embrace more and more discomfort to learn and grow. And I want to embrace making mistakes or having a messy life because I know this is the opposite of perfection. And that's what I want to embrace. So give yourself again some time to think about this and make them really about you. Again, this is about shaping your future using your inner wisdom that you have in the here and now.
Okay, and so the next piece of this, once you have first what you're most proud of, what you regret, what things you want to, what emotions or thoughts you want to embrace and release. Then you want to take yourself into thinking about next year. And you don't want to overly confuse yourself or get too scattered. So I really want you to breathe into what's most important to you. Create space for clarity. Take some deep breaths and allow clarity to rise within you. You can, of course, make a big list, but just sit with that list and pick the top three things you truly want to focus on in 2025. With each inhale, invite in discernments, using good judgment to pick what's most important to you. And with each exhale, release the pressure to do it all. Choosing just three areas of focus will help you stay aligned, clear, and empowered. What is calling to you as most important for your new year ahead?
So as we think about these top three things, I want you to invite you to look into your personal and professional life, right? So you want to pick three things out of both your personal and professional life, and they most likely will have synergies. But let's just dive into first, what are your personal desires for the upcoming year? Ask yourself and dream a little. How do you want your personal life to look and feel? Maybe you've envisioned more time for yourself, deeper connections with loved ones, or a new adventure that excites you.
One of the things that was really important to me when I was in my mid-30s in the corporate world was a relationship, finding a partner. And I remember thinking to myself, if I took this personal desire really seriously, what would that look like? And how would I want it to be? Why is this important to me? So for me, I always wanted a family and I always wanted a partner. And this is actually what brought me to coaching, figuring out my relationships with men. And one of the things that I said to myself is, if I really took this seriously and really went about this the way that I go about my professional goals, then go on way more dates, right? I would go on at least two to three dates a week if I were not traveling for work. I was living in Chicago at the time. And to some people that seems very like masculine, but it was in service of the feminine. When I say that, I mean that it's masculine to have a goal like that to go on that many dates.
But the feminine was me wanting to create a family, a partnership, that deeper connection with someone. And I loved being part of my family and joining my aunt's family and other people's family. But I really yearned to create my own family. And I noticed that I would create a lot of distraction in my life, whether it was work or new trips, I was a serial traveler. I've been to over 50 countries. I love to travel.
But there was a way that I just kind of kept my life, and its excitement going not really taking this personal desire to create a family as seriously. And this is the time to ask yourself, you know, if you could create whatever you wanted to create, what would that personal desire be and if you were to take it seriously, what would that look and feel like for you? I'm not saying it's easy by any means, but I'm saying that you have an opportunity in this moment, in this reflective time of the year to make that choice, to notice that for yourself. What do you actually want? And to listen to that voice and to respect it and honor it, right? So notice that for yourself.
You also want to ask yourself professionally, what are your career goals for the new year? Whether it's stepping into a new leadership role, gaining more influence, aligning with your work at a deeper level? This is a moment for you to align your work with your deeper purpose. This is a moment to define your professional desires. What do you see yourself achieving? What opportunities are you ready to create for yourself?
Maybe you do want to sign up for an international assignment. Maybe you do want to explore moving to another department. Maybe you're ready to talk to your boss about succession planning and really let him or her know that you're ready for this next level and that you want their support. Visualize yourself thriving, making impactful decisions and leading with both confidence and clarity. This is your chance to have the power to design your career on your own terms.
Again, I know it's not so easy, but really lean into that space of visioning. For me, one of the things that I'm really focusing on for next year is to impact 1,000 women. Through my podcast, through my coaching, through my speaking events, I want to impact and empower 1,000 women. So let yourself dream big. Let yourself steep into the possibility of what that is. And that visioning is really about that forward momentum moving forward that should feel like it's not just a to-do, but something that feels deeply connected with who you are and where you're at in your life and why it's important to you. This is the power of self-reflection.
As we close out this reflection, I want to remind you that we are in a very feminine time. It's a time of savoring, celebrating, allowing ourselves to embrace the unknown. This isn't a time for constant doing. It's a time to focus on being. But to create that space, you do need to create time in your calendar, time in your house environment to have this sacred space to pause, reflect, and tap into your inner wisdom. This end of the year reflection isn't just about planning for next steps, intentionality, clarity, and purpose. It's about aligning your deepest desires and trusting that you have the strength and wisdom to create the life and career you truly want.
Take this time, take an hour, take two hours, give yourself some time to really focus on this, journal about it, and come back to this. Thank you for joining me today and taking the time to reflect on your journey. You've already achieved so much and you are exactly where you need to be to continue growing and thriving. As we move towards the new year, remember to honor the woman you're becoming. Trust your process, trust your path, and step forward with confidence, clarity, and purpose. Wishing you a peaceful and powerful end of the year and an incredible start to next year. I'm excited to see you in next week's episode where we're going to dive into the most important relationship you'll ever have. All right, enjoy your holiday. Take time to celebrate, savor, and of course, reflect.
Thank you for being a part of The Balanced Leader community. We hope you found today's episode inspiring and actionable. For more resources and to connect with Yann, visit us at aspire-coaching.co. Until next time, keep leading with confidence and purpose.
Welcome to The Balanced Leader, hosted by Yann Dang, a Leadership and Life Coach with over 20 years of corporate experience. Drawing from her journey as a former global finance leader and second-generation immigrant, Yann understands the unique challenges women face in male-dominated workplaces.
Each episode offers insights on balancing masculine and feminine energies, mastering soft skills, and building emotional intelligence. Join us to transform frustration into empowerment and unlock your authentic leadership potential.
Hello listeners, welcome to today's episode. I know some of you might be celebrating not Christmas, but other holidays, but I want to welcome you into the space and say happy holidays and share with you an episode that is really about pausing and reflecting and not doing, which is a really feminine space.
As ambitious, high-achieving women, we're often so focused on the next goal, the next to-do, the next milestone, and we rarely take time to pause and celebrate how far we've come. There is a fear of celebrating, right? Sometimes people feel like if I celebrate something bad will happen or the other shoe will drop. But what I want to welcome you into is this idea that you can still pause and celebrate and still work on your goals. It is not an all or nothing world. It is really about celebrating and reflecting. And if you think about the holiday season, it is really a time to be in this feminine space of savoring, celebrating, and pausing.
So what we're going to dive into today is really thinking about how, from reflection and inner wisdom, we're able to learn about what is most important to us, what matters to us, what our growth and potential is. I think in society, a lot of people think that they have to look outside of themselves for what's next, for someone to lead them, for some person or some organization or entity to show them the way. But in today's episode, I am giving you an opportunity to not look outside of yourself for this wisdom, but to look inside yourself and to look at your past experiences as great teaching guides for what really matters to you.
Today, we're diving into a transformative practice of reflection, an opportunity not only to savor your wins, but also to set bold, purposeful intentions for the year ahead. This isn't just about planning for 2025, it's about stepping into the new year with clarity, confidence, and a deep sense of purpose. But before we dive into that, let's ground ourselves. Wherever you are right now, I invite you to close your eyes if you're able and take a deep breath. For those of you who are listening and driving, please don't do this. Please make sure that you are at a safe place or that you've stopped your car before closing your eyes to do this. We want you to be safe.
All right, so for those of you who can, please go ahead and close your eyes, take a deep breath in, and let's begin by repeating the following mantra together. I am right where I need to be. I am right where I need to be. I am right where I need to be. I want you to notice how those words hit you. I want you to notice the sensations in your body. And as you say this to yourself, remember, this doesn't mean you don't desire growth or change, it simply means that in this moment, you are grounded, you are safe. You are exactly where you need to be to learn, grow, and reflect from a space of abundance and openness. This is really where we want you to do the practice from.
This reflection time shouldn't be rushed. It shouldn't be another to-do. It really should be thought of as a sacred space to go inward. And so I invite you, if you are doing this and you have a candle nearby that you want to have that vibe and that smell of relaxation, I actually have my pumpkin cake candle next to me that my friend Ashley got me for my birthday. And I also invite you to put some light music on if that's going to relax you. Put that do-not-disturb sign on if you're in the office and have some time for yourself. Or if you're like me and have kids and it's busy in your house, find some space outside of your house to listen to this podcast episode again and take some time to do this powerful reflection.
Let's start with this simple yet powerful question. What are you most proud of this year and why? Think back to your year. What did you accomplish that makes you proud? What did you do or how are you being that helped you? Whether it's personal, professional, or even a decision you made to prioritize yourself, take a moment to reflect on the wins. Too often, we pass our successes without taking time to honor them. But right now, I want you to really feel that pride. Take a deep breath and notice what brings you pride. What impact did this achievement have on you? How did it shape your growth? What was it? Take a deep breath and give yourself the space to celebrate these accomplishments.
And they can be beyond the professional world. They could be telling a truth to someone that you have been worried about saying to them. It could be making a choice to go across the country to go visit a friend that you historically would have put off. I know this year I made the decision to go to Paris to celebrate the wedding of one of my favorite direct reports, Ann Lee. She might be listening to this. I went to Paris and I was with her and with other people that were part of my team when I was in the corporate world. And I think a lot of people would say, wow, that was a hard trip to make. You have two little kids. How did you take the time to make it? And for me, it was really about following my heart and also about listening to what really matters to me. And also reflecting on regrets that I've had in years past for missing weddings of important people when I was living abroad and it was difficult to go. I really regret missing these weddings, these important milestones. And for this particular person, for Ann, I was not going to miss this wedding.
So think about what you're proud of, right? It could be something more personal, putting yourself first, maybe investing in yourself through coaching, through personal training sessions. It could also be working really hard on a project that you're so proud of that made a real big difference, but you haven't allowed yourself time to really sit and celebrate it.
Take that time, celebrate your wins, do an inventory of them. I often like to encourage my clients to go month by month because there's a way our brain, right, is very focused on the negative and we'll zero in on that. And sometimes we need to direct ourselves and intentionally push ourselves towards celebrating what those things were. And if you go month by month, you can create a bigger list. The longer you sit with it, the more your brain is going to work harder to find those things that maybe you overlooked when you first thought about celebrating, especially if it's a muscle you haven't really practiced.
And then the next question you want to ask yourself is, what do you regret about this year? Regret is something we all carry, whether it's a missed opportunity, a decision that didn't go as planned, or something you wish you had handled differently. But instead of letting that regret or guilt weigh you down, think about how it can be a teacher. I think this is so important because regret allows us to notice ourselves what really matters to us, not how it matters to other people, but to ourselves. What lessons did your regrets offer you this year? And how can they guide your choices moving forward? Acknowledging regret doesn't have to be heavy. It can be freeing, liberating. When you see it for what it is, you can release it.
So for example, when I did this practice for myself last year, one of the things that I really regretted was not planning a trip for my husband and I. We had lots of trips planned for family events, family vacations, seeing grandparents, seeing other relatives. We had work trips planned. He had his own work trips. I had my own. But one of the things I really regret from 2023 was not planning a trip with my husband and prioritizing our couple. Even though we have young children, even though we have lots of other things going in our lives, even though we're super responsible when it comes to work and parenting, what I truly regretted was not putting our relationship on that priority list, you know, putting it at the bottom.
So this year, when we had the opportunity to go to the Bahamas together, just the two of us. And it was going to be a short trip. And I was actually going to be away from my children for quite a while, because I went pretty much straight from Paris, came home for a couple of days, and then my husband and I went to the Bahamas. And we were so grateful for having help and support to have our kids taken care of. But we took the time. It wasn't easy either to step away from our kids, from our life, from our responsibilities, from our demanding jobs. But we took the time to go and have a trip, just the two of us. And it was big for me. And it was big for my husband as well. But for me, it came from that regret. That whole deciding for us to do that came from the regret from the year before.
So I really want you to take in what you regretted this year. What is that for yourself? Is it not telling somebody you loved them before they passed away? Is it not seeing friends or family? Is it not putting your hands in the hat for a promotion opportunity that was presented towards you? Do you regret not even trying to go for it? Do you regret talking yourself out of it? You want to notice an inventory for yourself. What are these regrets? And again, it's not about blaming. It's not about self beat up. It's really about diving into what matters most to you. Listening to that inner wisdom inside that says, wow, I wish I would have done something differently. I am noticing an emotion, a sadness, a guilt that I wasn't there for myself, right, or I wasn't there for my couple. Like that's kind of how I felt at the end of last year. So notice what that is for you, and take time to reflect on it, to acknowledge it, and to allow it to inform how you want to move ahead. This is where that wisdom comes from.
And then the next question you want to ask yourself, and this is really around your own mindset and your own way of being with yourself, but what thoughts, beliefs, or emotions do you want to let go of before stepping into the next year, right? What are some of the things that you've struggled with? And I want to let you know that some of these things that we're releasing, right? Some of these, maybe it's self-judgment, maybe it's perfectionism, maybe it's mom guilt. Part of this is saying that we want to release it. It doesn't mean that it will go away magically, right? But this is really an opportunity to tell the universe, to tell God, if you're religious, to tell people what you want to be free of. And the more that I let myself say it out loud and tell other people about it, the more and more I'm released from these feelings. Doesn't mean that I don't have them occasionally, but I'm more aware of them and I'm more aware that I want to release these feelings because they are not helpful or supportive of me, of who I'm becoming. And I like to remind myself that it is a lot of old programming and that's okay.
So you want to think to yourself, what is it that you want to be releasing? Are you holding a lot of guilt? Are you holding a lot of regret? Are you holding a lot of self-judgment? One of the things that I've picked on for myself this year is how much I allow perfectionism to get in the way of me being present, to get in the way of me moving forward with things, to get in the way of me savoring and celebrating. So you want to notice these things about yourself, and you want to name them, because naming them is that powerful self-awareness, and it allows you to intercept yourself and to release it when you notice it. When I notice myself getting overly perfect about things or being super hard on myself, I can say, listen, Yann, this is old ways of thinking and feeling, and you can release this. You can let it go. But this time of reflection really gives you that opportunity to take a deep breath and notice and name for yourself what is it that you want to be releasing from your life. What thoughts, beliefs, or emotions.
And on the other side of this, if this is what you want to be releasing, what is it that you want to be embracing? What thoughts, feelings, or beliefs do you want to embrace for this year ahead? What energy do you want to carry with you into this next year? Maybe it’s confidence, joy, self-compassion, a sense of wonder, or possibility. Picture these feelings filling you up, grounding you, and propelling you forward. You want to hold on to these positive intentions and imagine them guiding you and moving you into this next chapter. This is your time to claim the emotions and thoughts that will shape your future ahead.
So for me one of the things that I keep going back to that I want to keep working on is this thought that I'm living my dream life. That I am truly living my dream life. And I keep going back to finding evidence of how is that true. The other thing that I want to embrace, right, and this is the opposite of that self-judgment. The other thing that I'm working for myself to embrace is my emotions, the negative emotions, my, what I call moodiness, right? Instead of being annoyed with myself and beating myself up, I want to learn how to sit with myself in these moody times that I've just noticed I have more and more of, and to embrace them and not to judge them so much, to give myself time to be with them.
I have a three-year-old who has lots of emotions, and sometimes my husband and I just want her to behave and not have all of her emotions. But I also realize she is working things out for herself. She's trying to figure it out. What is making her upset? Why is she upset? And part of expressing those negative emotions is releasing them. So I want to be embracing my emotions in order to release them and move ahead versus this cycle of holding on to my emotions, judging myself and kind of keep doing this cycle where I'm judging myself and I'm moody and I'm judging myself, I'm moody. I just want to give myself permission to be moody, express it and move on.
So you want to notice for yourself, what is it that you want to embrace? I mean, it could be confidence, joy, self-compassion, a sense of possibility, but it could be discomfort, right? It could be, I want to embrace more and more discomfort to learn and grow. And I want to embrace making mistakes or having a messy life because I know this is the opposite of perfection. And that's what I want to embrace. So give yourself again some time to think about this and make them really about you. Again, this is about shaping your future using your inner wisdom that you have in the here and now.
Okay, and so the next piece of this, once you have first what you're most proud of, what you regret, what things you want to, what emotions or thoughts you want to embrace and release. Then you want to take yourself into thinking about next year. And you don't want to overly confuse yourself or get too scattered. So I really want you to breathe into what's most important to you. Create space for clarity. Take some deep breaths and allow clarity to rise within you. You can, of course, make a big list, but just sit with that list and pick the top three things you truly want to focus on in 2025. With each inhale, invite in discernments, using good judgment to pick what's most important to you. And with each exhale, release the pressure to do it all. Choosing just three areas of focus will help you stay aligned, clear, and empowered. What is calling to you as most important for your new year ahead?
So as we think about these top three things, I want you to invite you to look into your personal and professional life, right? So you want to pick three things out of both your personal and professional life, and they most likely will have synergies. But let's just dive into first, what are your personal desires for the upcoming year? Ask yourself and dream a little. How do you want your personal life to look and feel? Maybe you've envisioned more time for yourself, deeper connections with loved ones, or a new adventure that excites you.
One of the things that was really important to me when I was in my mid-30s in the corporate world was a relationship, finding a partner. And I remember thinking to myself, if I took this personal desire really seriously, what would that look like? And how would I want it to be? Why is this important to me? So for me, I always wanted a family and I always wanted a partner. And this is actually what brought me to coaching, figuring out my relationships with men. And one of the things that I said to myself is, if I really took this seriously and really went about this the way that I go about my professional goals, then go on way more dates, right? I would go on at least two to three dates a week if I were not traveling for work. I was living in Chicago at the time. And to some people that seems very like masculine, but it was in service of the feminine. When I say that, I mean that it's masculine to have a goal like that to go on that many dates.
But the feminine was me wanting to create a family, a partnership, that deeper connection with someone. And I loved being part of my family and joining my aunt's family and other people's family. But I really yearned to create my own family. And I noticed that I would create a lot of distraction in my life, whether it was work or new trips, I was a serial traveler. I've been to over 50 countries. I love to travel.
But there was a way that I just kind of kept my life, and its excitement going not really taking this personal desire to create a family as seriously. And this is the time to ask yourself, you know, if you could create whatever you wanted to create, what would that personal desire be and if you were to take it seriously, what would that look and feel like for you? I'm not saying it's easy by any means, but I'm saying that you have an opportunity in this moment, in this reflective time of the year to make that choice, to notice that for yourself. What do you actually want? And to listen to that voice and to respect it and honor it, right? So notice that for yourself.
You also want to ask yourself professionally, what are your career goals for the new year? Whether it's stepping into a new leadership role, gaining more influence, aligning with your work at a deeper level? This is a moment for you to align your work with your deeper purpose. This is a moment to define your professional desires. What do you see yourself achieving? What opportunities are you ready to create for yourself?
Maybe you do want to sign up for an international assignment. Maybe you do want to explore moving to another department. Maybe you're ready to talk to your boss about succession planning and really let him or her know that you're ready for this next level and that you want their support. Visualize yourself thriving, making impactful decisions and leading with both confidence and clarity. This is your chance to have the power to design your career on your own terms.
Again, I know it's not so easy, but really lean into that space of visioning. For me, one of the things that I'm really focusing on for next year is to impact 1,000 women. Through my podcast, through my coaching, through my speaking events, I want to impact and empower 1,000 women. So let yourself dream big. Let yourself steep into the possibility of what that is. And that visioning is really about that forward momentum moving forward that should feel like it's not just a to-do, but something that feels deeply connected with who you are and where you're at in your life and why it's important to you. This is the power of self-reflection.
As we close out this reflection, I want to remind you that we are in a very feminine time. It's a time of savoring, celebrating, allowing ourselves to embrace the unknown. This isn't a time for constant doing. It's a time to focus on being. But to create that space, you do need to create time in your calendar, time in your house environment to have this sacred space to pause, reflect, and tap into your inner wisdom. This end of the year reflection isn't just about planning for next steps, intentionality, clarity, and purpose. It's about aligning your deepest desires and trusting that you have the strength and wisdom to create the life and career you truly want.
Take this time, take an hour, take two hours, give yourself some time to really focus on this, journal about it, and come back to this. Thank you for joining me today and taking the time to reflect on your journey. You've already achieved so much and you are exactly where you need to be to continue growing and thriving. As we move towards the new year, remember to honor the woman you're becoming. Trust your process, trust your path, and step forward with confidence, clarity, and purpose. Wishing you a peaceful and powerful end of the year and an incredible start to next year. I'm excited to see you in next week's episode where we're going to dive into the most important relationship you'll ever have. All right, enjoy your holiday. Take time to celebrate, savor, and of course, reflect.
Thank you for being a part of The Balanced Leader community. We hope you found today's episode inspiring and actionable. For more resources and to connect with Yann, visit us at aspire-coaching.co. Until next time, keep leading with confidence and purpose.
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