7. Master the Art of Leadership Presence: 3 Steps to Inspire and Influence
Do you ever wonder why some leaders seem to effortlessly command a room while others struggle to make an impact? The secret lies in their leadership presence. Leadership presence is about more than just what you say - it's how you say it. Your energy, emotions, and non-verbal cues have a huge influence on how your message lands with others. By honing your leadership presence, you can inspire, motivate, and influence people in a powerful way.
Developing a strong leadership presence isn't always easy. Emotional intelligence, communication barriers, stress, cultural norms, and resistance to change can all get in the way. But with the right tools and mindset, anyone can learn to show up as the leader they want to be.
Tune in this week to explore what leadership presence really means and why it's a game-changer for your career. I give you a simple 3-step process you can use to instantly uplevel your leadership presence, even if you’re about to go into a meeting and you just need to bring a little something extra to the conversation!
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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
Why leadership presence is crucial for career progression, credibility, and influence.
How your energy and emotions impact the way your words come across to others.
The key barriers that hold most people back from developing strong leadership presence.
How to see the way your current leadership presence is showing up in your career.
3 Powerful tips to channel your leadership presence with intention and purpose.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Ever worked with a leader who sucked the energy out of the room and another who left you feeling fired up and ready to take on the world? That's leadership presence at work and it can make or break how you influence others. In today's episode, we're diving deep into what leadership presence really is and why it's so crucial for your career, and what's secretly holding you back from showing up as the leader you want to be. Stay with me as I share 3 powerful steps to instantly up-level your leadership presence in any situation.
Welcome to The Balanced Leader, hosted by Yann Dang, a Leadership and Life Coach with over 20 years of corporate experience. Drawing from her journey as a former global finance leader and second-generation immigrant, Yann understands the unique challenges women face in male-dominated workplaces.
Each episode offers insights on balancing masculine and feminine energies, mastering soft skills, and building emotional intelligence. Join us to transform frustration into empowerment and unlock your authentic leadership potential.
Today's episode is all about how to up-level your leadership presence. I'm going to be talking about what leadership presence is, why it's important, and what's currently holding you back from developing the sort of leadership presence that motivates and inspires people. Then you'll get three simple steps you can use in pretty much any professional interaction to uplevel your leadership presence and show up the way you really want to.
First, I have two scenarios for you. Scenario one. I want you to imagine you're meeting a new leader for the first time. You noticed he doesn't look particularly happy. He actually looks pretty upset and grumpy. He's fumbling with his paperwork. He doesn't give you direct eye contact. He starts sharing with you his plans for the organization, for the team, and for you specifically, and you feel the energy dropping. These non-verbal cues have you worrying about your job and thinking about all the ways that aligning with his purpose is going to be difficult for you. You're unable to find any possible positives about working with him in the future.
Scenario two. You meet a new leader of your group. He comes in with a big smile. He's charismatic, giving lots of eye contact and shaking everyone's hand before diving into a personal story about himself, why he joined the organization, the challenges he foresees, and what he wants to achieve with this new team. You can feel his energy and positivity. He asks for your help and support in creating a shift in the company that aligns with their mission. And you can sense positive energy all around this new leader. You and your team feel excited about your roles, imagining all the ways each of you can expand and make a difference under this new leadership.
There's a Harvard Business Review article that talks about how moods are more contagious than colds.
We react to the energy our leaders bring. That's why some leaders have a more positive impact than others. And when we, as leaders, show up with real leadership presence, we can have a massive influence in our organization.
I'm sure you can relate to the energy embodied in both scenarios I shared, and you have experienced how contagious moods can be. Your energy has a huge impact in how your words come across to others. It's not just what you say, it's how you say it.
Well, today we are really focusing on the energy you exude no matter where you're at, that you can take control over your leadership presence. And I'm gonna start with why it is so important to have a strong leadership presence, and I'm gonna define what that means as well. And then I'm gonna share with you why it's not super easy to do. This is not easy work. If people just wanted to wake up on a Monday morning and feel amazing, sometimes you're going to need to focus on your mindset and really be aware of yourself. And then I'll share with you these three very simple but very powerful steps that you could be using in your life to show up the way that you want to intentionally, with purpose, with authenticity.
Alright, so let's start with why leadership presence is so important. I mean obviously that example I gave you shared about how that is. And I also wanna give you my personal definition of leadership presence. Leadership presence is having the mental and emotional capacity to respond in the here and now with intentionality and purpose. I'm gonna circle back on this, but it's really about having that clarity of mental and emotional landscape internally so that you can really be present to what's happening in the moment with the people around you. And again, using your presence in a way that is intentional and purposeful.
So let us talk about why this is so important. The reason why leadership presence is so important to career progression is, number one, it enhances influence and credibility. We all know what it feels like to go to a meeting where there's no real agenda, there's no real leader, and you leave the meeting feeling like it was a waste of time and no decisions were made. That is a lack of leadership presence, right? That is a lack of somebody taking hold, maybe being the adult in the room and creating that.
And I oftentimes tell leaders that anybody could do that. You don't have to be the one that opens the meeting, you don't have to be the one that has all the answers. You could just have enough leadership presence to influence the group, create credibility by what you're saying and how you're saying it, and being super curious, right? This doesn't need to be you having everything, but it's more about the presence you bring. Because whatever energy you're bringing, you are influencing people with that energy. So if you feel like your time is valuable and you want to make this meeting valuable, then you will be able to influence people that way with just how you show up.
It also boosts visibility and opportunities. There's actually a stat out there that talks about how senior leaders oftentimes want to sponsor female leaders who have a strong leadership presence. And I think it makes sense, right? You want to back someone where you're like, I can see them, I can feel their leadership. I want to sponsor them and boost their visibility because I believe in them. I am attracted to their presence. I'm attracted to the way that they lead and I am willing to bet on them, right? I'm gonna use my political capital to support them and I feel like they are a safer bet because you can see somebody with leadership presence, right? Has that sort of wow factor that sometimes people are like, the person's really strong, but I'm not really sure how they're going to stand out in front of a group of other leaders. So if you have this leadership presence, you're going to be more likely to attract sponsors who want to support you.
And then lastly, leadership presence facilitates effective communication and decision-making. Again, this is about showing up as a leader, showing up with your energy, just like in that example I gave at the very beginning. You know when a leader is taking you on the journey and helping you make decisions and inviting you in with their energy, not just what they're saying, but how they're saying it, right? So it facilitates more of that.
And people that have a strong leadership presence typically attract people on their team that feel more satisfied in their job and are more likely to progress in the company because they feel like there's such strong leadership presence from their leader. So it sounds great, right? Why doesn't everybody work on their leadership presence?
Here's the thing, it sounds so much easier to do than it really is because what gets in the way? Well, firstly, there's just a lack of emotional intelligence. Oftentimes, right, even in college, we maybe practice saying the right thing, and maybe you had a speech class where you did practice being able to share a story and guide people a certain way. But if you're not that in touch with your own emotions, you may not be aware that when you're going to your team meeting, you might not be having the energy you want.
I actually have a client who I was talking to her about a team meeting that she was about to have and I asked her, tell me more about it because she was like, I want to show up like a powerful leader. And the way she was talking about it, I said, listen… she was kind of talking about how these things that needed to get done, she had a really low tone of voice, it was just really heavy energy, and I said to her, listen, I think that you are wanting to show up as a powerful leader and make this whole thing inspiring. But when you're describing the meeting to me right now, your energy feels more like dead animal energy.
You know what it feels like when you're telling somebody that there's a dead animal on your driveway or in the street. It just feels heavy and terrible and nobody wants to picture it or think about it. And this was the energy she was carrying as she was talking about this team meeting. And so we really talked about how to switch that.
But part of it was some of the emotions that she was feeling. A lot of fear of rejection from her team, a lot of fear that the message wouldn't come across strongly, and then also a lot of fear leading in this way. You know, she was expanding herself, but there's not a lot of information out in the world about how to deal with your own emotions and how to convey that emotion or that energy to other people.
There could also be communication barriers, right? You could want to show up a certain way, but be fearful that if your voice is too powerful or too much, you know, that's like a thought that you might have, then you might be fearful of being threatening to other people. And so again, you hold yourself back. You could also fear conflict. You know, sometimes it's easier to give a watered down message, but with that watered down message, you might have a certain energy that is not very inviting and it's just kind of causes more people to be confused about where you stand. And that also could come across because you're more focused on the fear of conflict than showing up with that leadership presence.
Overwhelm and stress is another big reason. I always like to share examples of this. I have two young kids and oftentimes, our brains go to a lot of different places when we are stressed or overwhelmed or we haven't given ourselves time to have enough transition time. So you can imagine getting into a meeting, maybe you just got upset at your kids for something, and instead of being the present leader that you want to show up as, you are grumpy and angry and haven't had time to center yourself or ground yourself, right? So this overwhelm and stress, the way it shows up is it actually causes our brain to focus on other things. And if we don't know how to channel the energy, it's really hard to show up the way that we want to.
There's also cultural and gender norms. So if you're used to, for example, going to a meeting and maybe in your family you had a very authoritarian dad who would always be the one that talks first, right? You could be in a meeting and your CEO could be sitting next to you and your thinking is he needs to lead, he needs to open up the meeting because that's the gender norm. And you may be not fully conscious of how you're showing up with your leadership presence because you are waiting for him, right? Or you notice maybe he comes in and he seems grumpy and upset and instead of being focused on how you want to come across you have narrowed in on his upset and you are allowing your brain to spin about what's going on with him rather than you know focusing on what's important and what you wanna accomplish. So you wanna notice what's going on with you.
Another thing that could happen is inadequate feedback or support. In today's world, a lot of people are scared of giving really clear, critical, direct feedback for the fear of being canceled, for the fear of backlash, you know?
You might be not getting clean or clear feedback because people might be like, oh, you can't say that to a woman, she's not gonna like that. Or Maybe they just don't know how to give that feedback directly, right? They don't even know how to explain leadership presence or emotions or energy, right? You might be getting just a lot of feedback about your gravitas.
Like I remember when I was ascending into my leadership roles and people would oftentimes say, it's your gravitas. We feel very strongly that you are competent and can do the work, but we're not so sure about your gravitas. And for me, I didn't know what that really meant. I actually had to dig into that. And when I dug into it more, I understood that it meant, you know, being able to stand my own ground, to share what's important to me, to push back on people in a group setting. But when they just said gravitas, I was like, I don't know what that really means.
So what comes to mind is I need to act more manly or more aggressive, but that's not the case all the time when we're talking about leadership presence. And then another thing could be resistance to change. You might be showing up as an okay leader all the time. You get the job done, you say what's important, but you might not be inspiring people the way you want to.
And you could be resisting that change because it's scary to show up differently and potentially put yourself out there to get negative feedback, or fear that people are not gonna like your message or the way that you're being or stretching. So you wanna notice that for yourself, but these are all of the things that are in the way of people showing up intentionally, purposefully with their leadership presence.
So these are some examples of why it's so hard to show up with your leadership presence, being intentional and purposeful. Life gets in the way, there's lack of training, there's fear of conflict, stress and overwhelm, not getting the right feedback, and that resistance to change. So you just wanna notice that.
But what I'm gonna offer you today is not overcoming all of those things that are so hard, but really focusing on three simple steps that you can use to channel your leadership presence and to focus it in, even if you only have 10 minutes before the meeting, right?
That you're able to use this as a practice to ground yourself, center yourself, and shift right into it. I want to tell you that this is such an important practice that I've talked to so many of my clients about and they're like, I can't believe it's so simple, but it makes such a big difference. And it makes a huge difference for me too.
You know, if I am getting my kids out the door and then I have to jump and do a webinar or do a big speaking event, right? I can use these three simple steps again to ground myself, center myself, and then shift into that leadership presence that I want to be conveying.
So let's talk about what these three steps entail. Again, the definition of leadership presence, from my perspective, is having the mental and emotional capacity to respond in the here and now with intentionality and purpose. So these three steps are going to help you clear your mind and clear space to be in the here and now, present with whatever is happening.
It's really about training your brain to show up intentionally and with purpose by focusing on the outcome that you want to be creating. So the first step of the three simple steps is to define your purpose. Really think about what is the purpose of this meeting? Even if it's a team meeting, even if it's a one-on-one meeting, maybe it's even something personal, like a date, right?
Like if I have a date with my husband, what's the purpose of this? Why is this important? You want to clear your brain because your brain is offering you a lot of logistics, a lot of other stuff. And by using this as a practice, you get to say actually what matters the most to me? How do I wanna show up? Why does this matter to me? Why is it important? Knowing your why is gonna help you understand how to cultivate the presence you actually wanna have.
So the first step is number one, purpose. And so for example, I had a client and she was gonna do a town hall and her purpose was not just to show up and get the job done and get it over with. Her purpose was to create an inviting space and to help people know that she had control over the financials, but that she wanted to be able to make it understandable for people.
And she wanted them to know where the company was and what the message was that was important. She wanted them to feel secure that the company was in a good shape financially so that they could focus on their job. And her bigger why was she wanted to show up as a female leader who could do this, you know, who would be able to make this impact for people and not scare them with numbers, but really help them be part of feeling that they understood what's happening in the company.
So figure out what that purpose is for yourself because that is gonna help guide you on how you wanna show up, which is the next step is presence. So how do you want your presence to be? The question you wanna ask yourself is, how do I wanna show up? Visualize the leader you aspire to be in that moment. Consider how you wanna look. How do you wanna sound? And how do you wanna feel in the interactions?
So with my client in the town hall, she was like, I want to seem grounded, confidence, calm, and connected with people, right? It's important that they can feel like I'm connecting with them. I'm gonna give them eye contact. I'm going to share. I'm gonna take up space on the stage. I'm going to wear something that's warm and inviting and maybe more feminine.
So she was like, I want them to see that I am a woman leader and that, you know, other women leaders in the audience could be like, wow, that person is showing up. I remember even people from my days of presenting where they would come up to me and say, gosh, I still remember that presentation. You stood up there with that white dress and you were telling us how important it was to hit our sales target. And that is just solidified in my mind.
You know, this is really the power of leadership, right? If you're able to hone this leadership presence in, you can start creating for people these thoughts about you and that helps them, again, see themselves, but also lead however they feel is the most important for the company, because they're aligned to that purpose. So you wanna focus on what is the presence you wanna have and what are the thoughts that can help reinforce those feelings in you, right?
If you channel it into this, like how you wanna show up, it replaces the self-doubt and the negative thinking that could come up if you're just on autopilot, right? If you're on autopilot and you don't feel prepared and you feel scared, your mind is going to offer you more negative thoughts versus if you decide ahead of time how you want your presence to be, how you wanna show up, you will be more able to get into positive self-talk and focus on how you actually want to show up.
So for me, instead of thinking about my kids and the schedule and the pickup and all this stuff, I keep just redirecting my brain to what matters. What's my purpose? How do I want my presence to be?
And then the last step, this is one that really helps us to anchor ourselves, which is using positioning words. So first, you define your purpose. Why is this thing important to me? Two, you want to cultivate your presence. How do you wanna show up? And then three, this is really your CliffsNotes. If you are an 80s child and remember CliffsNotes, these are the three words that embody the qualities you want to project.
For example, when I asked my client, what are those three words, right? If you're in this town hall, how do you actually want to show up? And she said, connected, warm, and playful, right? So that's what she came up with after doing defining the purpose, cultivating the presence, and those were the three words. And I literally have my clients write it on their notebook or whatever is in front of them.
Because what will happen is, maybe you go up on stage to do that town hall and there's a tech problem or something's going on that causes you to get distracted, but you have your three words, you go back to them, you're like connected, warm, playful, right? Not getting anxious over the tech issues, making a joke about the tech issues, you know, getting into that warm space.
And I wanna offer, you can also use these for other purposes, like if you have a board meeting, for example, another client I have, she had a board meeting and she wanted to come across firm, authoritative, and open, right?
Because that openness, right, allows for curiosity and not defensiveness, and that authority, though, being authoritative and firm, like also helped to ground her. And so you wanna be able to pick the three words that most align with the purpose and the presence that you wanna be conveying and projecting to people. And again, you can use this even when you're transitioning into your personal life.
So oftentimes, if I'm transitioning from a big work thing into my personal life, I wanna give myself a moment. And when I am with my kids, I want to be calm, as calm as I can be as a parent of like, you know, kids under five. Calm, curious, and playful, right? Like I want to be in that space too, right? And the more I direct myself to that, the less I get triggered by the messes that happen, the less I focus on negative things or logistics. I can help myself to be more present and show up, you know, leading my family how I wanna lead them.
So I really want you to practice this as a way of being and a way to have more control over how you are presenting yourself and what that leadership presence can actually create more of in your life. Because if you noticed yourself, it could be clear, confident, and composed, and you start practicing this, what happens is that you start showing up differently and people are attracted to your energy and they're attracted to how you're saying things, your way of being. And this could actually create lots of different positive career progressive changes in your life. And it all starts with you owning that leadership presence.
So just like with my other client, instead of that dead animal energy, and she shows up with feeling more confident, clear, and composure, right, that creates something very different for her team than what she would have unintentionally created with that dead animal energy. So I want you to practice these steps. They're pretty simple.
Number one, define your purpose. What are you wanting to create in this moment as you are being present, right? In this meeting, it could just be you joining a meeting, not multitasking, it could be you asking more questions, being curious. So what would that purpose require? What presence would you need to cultivate? How do you need to show up? And this visualization is really key too, because if you're a more visual person, you'll have that visualization show up in your head to ground yourself and help you move towards those. And then of course, the three anchoring words, the positioning words to help you keep grounded, even if you're distracted for a moment, that you get yourself back to these three words and you use these three simple steps to up-level your leadership presence.
Okay, I want to hear how this is impacting you. I want to know how using these three simple steps to up-level your leadership presence is changing the way that you're showing up in the world, changing the way that people are seeing you, and then changing how you feel about yourself. Do you feel more confident in yourself? How is all of this impacting you?
So please DM me, connect with me, write a review. I'd love to hear this. I've had lots of clients say, this is such a simple yet powerful tool, and they're teaching other people in their lives to use it. Emotional intelligence can sometimes feel very complicated, but these three simple steps make it easy, simple, and doable for anyone. It really is a matter of practicing it enough times and starting to master this for yourself that can really help open up different opportunities for you.
Okay, so that was three simple steps to uplevel your leadership presence and I will see you next week. We have another episode that is coming up and I can't wait to connect with you then. Have a wonderful, beautiful week ahead. Thank you!
Thank you for being a part of The Balanced Leader community. We hope you found today's episode inspiring and actionable. For more resources and to connect with Yann, visit us at aspire-coaching.co. Until next time, keep leading with confidence and purpose.
Welcome to The Balanced Leader, hosted by Yann Dang, a Leadership and Life Coach with over 20 years of corporate experience. Drawing from her journey as a former global finance leader and second-generation immigrant, Yann understands the unique challenges women face in male-dominated workplaces.
Each episode offers insights on balancing masculine and feminine energies, mastering soft skills, and building emotional intelligence. Join us to transform frustration into empowerment and unlock your authentic leadership potential.
Today's episode is all about how to up-level your leadership presence. I'm going to be talking about what leadership presence is, why it's important, and what's currently holding you back from developing the sort of leadership presence that motivates and inspires people. Then you'll get three simple steps you can use in pretty much any professional interaction to uplevel your leadership presence and show up the way you really want to.
First, I have two scenarios for you. Scenario one. I want you to imagine you're meeting a new leader for the first time. You noticed he doesn't look particularly happy. He actually looks pretty upset and grumpy. He's fumbling with his paperwork. He doesn't give you direct eye contact. He starts sharing with you his plans for the organization, for the team, and for you specifically, and you feel the energy dropping. These non-verbal cues have you worrying about your job and thinking about all the ways that aligning with his purpose is going to be difficult for you. You're unable to find any possible positives about working with him in the future.
Scenario two. You meet a new leader of your group. He comes in with a big smile. He's charismatic, giving lots of eye contact and shaking everyone's hand before diving into a personal story about himself, why he joined the organization, the challenges he foresees, and what he wants to achieve with this new team. You can feel his energy and positivity. He asks for your help and support in creating a shift in the company that aligns with their mission. And you can sense positive energy all around this new leader. You and your team feel excited about your roles, imagining all the ways each of you can expand and make a difference under this new leadership.
There's a Harvard Business Review article that talks about how moods are more contagious than colds.
We react to the energy our leaders bring. That's why some leaders have a more positive impact than others. And when we, as leaders, show up with real leadership presence, we can have a massive influence in our organization.
I'm sure you can relate to the energy embodied in both scenarios I shared, and you have experienced how contagious moods can be. Your energy has a huge impact in how your words come across to others. It's not just what you say, it's how you say it.
Well, today we are really focusing on the energy you exude no matter where you're at, that you can take control over your leadership presence. And I'm gonna start with why it is so important to have a strong leadership presence, and I'm gonna define what that means as well. And then I'm gonna share with you why it's not super easy to do. This is not easy work. If people just wanted to wake up on a Monday morning and feel amazing, sometimes you're going to need to focus on your mindset and really be aware of yourself. And then I'll share with you these three very simple but very powerful steps that you could be using in your life to show up the way that you want to intentionally, with purpose, with authenticity.
Alright, so let's start with why leadership presence is so important. I mean obviously that example I gave you shared about how that is. And I also wanna give you my personal definition of leadership presence. Leadership presence is having the mental and emotional capacity to respond in the here and now with intentionality and purpose. I'm gonna circle back on this, but it's really about having that clarity of mental and emotional landscape internally so that you can really be present to what's happening in the moment with the people around you. And again, using your presence in a way that is intentional and purposeful.
So let us talk about why this is so important. The reason why leadership presence is so important to career progression is, number one, it enhances influence and credibility. We all know what it feels like to go to a meeting where there's no real agenda, there's no real leader, and you leave the meeting feeling like it was a waste of time and no decisions were made. That is a lack of leadership presence, right? That is a lack of somebody taking hold, maybe being the adult in the room and creating that.
And I oftentimes tell leaders that anybody could do that. You don't have to be the one that opens the meeting, you don't have to be the one that has all the answers. You could just have enough leadership presence to influence the group, create credibility by what you're saying and how you're saying it, and being super curious, right? This doesn't need to be you having everything, but it's more about the presence you bring. Because whatever energy you're bringing, you are influencing people with that energy. So if you feel like your time is valuable and you want to make this meeting valuable, then you will be able to influence people that way with just how you show up.
It also boosts visibility and opportunities. There's actually a stat out there that talks about how senior leaders oftentimes want to sponsor female leaders who have a strong leadership presence. And I think it makes sense, right? You want to back someone where you're like, I can see them, I can feel their leadership. I want to sponsor them and boost their visibility because I believe in them. I am attracted to their presence. I'm attracted to the way that they lead and I am willing to bet on them, right? I'm gonna use my political capital to support them and I feel like they are a safer bet because you can see somebody with leadership presence, right? Has that sort of wow factor that sometimes people are like, the person's really strong, but I'm not really sure how they're going to stand out in front of a group of other leaders. So if you have this leadership presence, you're going to be more likely to attract sponsors who want to support you.
And then lastly, leadership presence facilitates effective communication and decision-making. Again, this is about showing up as a leader, showing up with your energy, just like in that example I gave at the very beginning. You know when a leader is taking you on the journey and helping you make decisions and inviting you in with their energy, not just what they're saying, but how they're saying it, right? So it facilitates more of that.
And people that have a strong leadership presence typically attract people on their team that feel more satisfied in their job and are more likely to progress in the company because they feel like there's such strong leadership presence from their leader. So it sounds great, right? Why doesn't everybody work on their leadership presence?
Here's the thing, it sounds so much easier to do than it really is because what gets in the way? Well, firstly, there's just a lack of emotional intelligence. Oftentimes, right, even in college, we maybe practice saying the right thing, and maybe you had a speech class where you did practice being able to share a story and guide people a certain way. But if you're not that in touch with your own emotions, you may not be aware that when you're going to your team meeting, you might not be having the energy you want.
I actually have a client who I was talking to her about a team meeting that she was about to have and I asked her, tell me more about it because she was like, I want to show up like a powerful leader. And the way she was talking about it, I said, listen… she was kind of talking about how these things that needed to get done, she had a really low tone of voice, it was just really heavy energy, and I said to her, listen, I think that you are wanting to show up as a powerful leader and make this whole thing inspiring. But when you're describing the meeting to me right now, your energy feels more like dead animal energy.
You know what it feels like when you're telling somebody that there's a dead animal on your driveway or in the street. It just feels heavy and terrible and nobody wants to picture it or think about it. And this was the energy she was carrying as she was talking about this team meeting. And so we really talked about how to switch that.
But part of it was some of the emotions that she was feeling. A lot of fear of rejection from her team, a lot of fear that the message wouldn't come across strongly, and then also a lot of fear leading in this way. You know, she was expanding herself, but there's not a lot of information out in the world about how to deal with your own emotions and how to convey that emotion or that energy to other people.
There could also be communication barriers, right? You could want to show up a certain way, but be fearful that if your voice is too powerful or too much, you know, that's like a thought that you might have, then you might be fearful of being threatening to other people. And so again, you hold yourself back. You could also fear conflict. You know, sometimes it's easier to give a watered down message, but with that watered down message, you might have a certain energy that is not very inviting and it's just kind of causes more people to be confused about where you stand. And that also could come across because you're more focused on the fear of conflict than showing up with that leadership presence.
Overwhelm and stress is another big reason. I always like to share examples of this. I have two young kids and oftentimes, our brains go to a lot of different places when we are stressed or overwhelmed or we haven't given ourselves time to have enough transition time. So you can imagine getting into a meeting, maybe you just got upset at your kids for something, and instead of being the present leader that you want to show up as, you are grumpy and angry and haven't had time to center yourself or ground yourself, right? So this overwhelm and stress, the way it shows up is it actually causes our brain to focus on other things. And if we don't know how to channel the energy, it's really hard to show up the way that we want to.
There's also cultural and gender norms. So if you're used to, for example, going to a meeting and maybe in your family you had a very authoritarian dad who would always be the one that talks first, right? You could be in a meeting and your CEO could be sitting next to you and your thinking is he needs to lead, he needs to open up the meeting because that's the gender norm. And you may be not fully conscious of how you're showing up with your leadership presence because you are waiting for him, right? Or you notice maybe he comes in and he seems grumpy and upset and instead of being focused on how you want to come across you have narrowed in on his upset and you are allowing your brain to spin about what's going on with him rather than you know focusing on what's important and what you wanna accomplish. So you wanna notice what's going on with you.
Another thing that could happen is inadequate feedback or support. In today's world, a lot of people are scared of giving really clear, critical, direct feedback for the fear of being canceled, for the fear of backlash, you know?
You might be not getting clean or clear feedback because people might be like, oh, you can't say that to a woman, she's not gonna like that. Or Maybe they just don't know how to give that feedback directly, right? They don't even know how to explain leadership presence or emotions or energy, right? You might be getting just a lot of feedback about your gravitas.
Like I remember when I was ascending into my leadership roles and people would oftentimes say, it's your gravitas. We feel very strongly that you are competent and can do the work, but we're not so sure about your gravitas. And for me, I didn't know what that really meant. I actually had to dig into that. And when I dug into it more, I understood that it meant, you know, being able to stand my own ground, to share what's important to me, to push back on people in a group setting. But when they just said gravitas, I was like, I don't know what that really means.
So what comes to mind is I need to act more manly or more aggressive, but that's not the case all the time when we're talking about leadership presence. And then another thing could be resistance to change. You might be showing up as an okay leader all the time. You get the job done, you say what's important, but you might not be inspiring people the way you want to.
And you could be resisting that change because it's scary to show up differently and potentially put yourself out there to get negative feedback, or fear that people are not gonna like your message or the way that you're being or stretching. So you wanna notice that for yourself, but these are all of the things that are in the way of people showing up intentionally, purposefully with their leadership presence.
So these are some examples of why it's so hard to show up with your leadership presence, being intentional and purposeful. Life gets in the way, there's lack of training, there's fear of conflict, stress and overwhelm, not getting the right feedback, and that resistance to change. So you just wanna notice that.
But what I'm gonna offer you today is not overcoming all of those things that are so hard, but really focusing on three simple steps that you can use to channel your leadership presence and to focus it in, even if you only have 10 minutes before the meeting, right?
That you're able to use this as a practice to ground yourself, center yourself, and shift right into it. I want to tell you that this is such an important practice that I've talked to so many of my clients about and they're like, I can't believe it's so simple, but it makes such a big difference. And it makes a huge difference for me too.
You know, if I am getting my kids out the door and then I have to jump and do a webinar or do a big speaking event, right? I can use these three simple steps again to ground myself, center myself, and then shift into that leadership presence that I want to be conveying.
So let's talk about what these three steps entail. Again, the definition of leadership presence, from my perspective, is having the mental and emotional capacity to respond in the here and now with intentionality and purpose. So these three steps are going to help you clear your mind and clear space to be in the here and now, present with whatever is happening.
It's really about training your brain to show up intentionally and with purpose by focusing on the outcome that you want to be creating. So the first step of the three simple steps is to define your purpose. Really think about what is the purpose of this meeting? Even if it's a team meeting, even if it's a one-on-one meeting, maybe it's even something personal, like a date, right?
Like if I have a date with my husband, what's the purpose of this? Why is this important? You want to clear your brain because your brain is offering you a lot of logistics, a lot of other stuff. And by using this as a practice, you get to say actually what matters the most to me? How do I wanna show up? Why does this matter to me? Why is it important? Knowing your why is gonna help you understand how to cultivate the presence you actually wanna have.
So the first step is number one, purpose. And so for example, I had a client and she was gonna do a town hall and her purpose was not just to show up and get the job done and get it over with. Her purpose was to create an inviting space and to help people know that she had control over the financials, but that she wanted to be able to make it understandable for people.
And she wanted them to know where the company was and what the message was that was important. She wanted them to feel secure that the company was in a good shape financially so that they could focus on their job. And her bigger why was she wanted to show up as a female leader who could do this, you know, who would be able to make this impact for people and not scare them with numbers, but really help them be part of feeling that they understood what's happening in the company.
So figure out what that purpose is for yourself because that is gonna help guide you on how you wanna show up, which is the next step is presence. So how do you want your presence to be? The question you wanna ask yourself is, how do I wanna show up? Visualize the leader you aspire to be in that moment. Consider how you wanna look. How do you wanna sound? And how do you wanna feel in the interactions?
So with my client in the town hall, she was like, I want to seem grounded, confidence, calm, and connected with people, right? It's important that they can feel like I'm connecting with them. I'm gonna give them eye contact. I'm going to share. I'm gonna take up space on the stage. I'm going to wear something that's warm and inviting and maybe more feminine.
So she was like, I want them to see that I am a woman leader and that, you know, other women leaders in the audience could be like, wow, that person is showing up. I remember even people from my days of presenting where they would come up to me and say, gosh, I still remember that presentation. You stood up there with that white dress and you were telling us how important it was to hit our sales target. And that is just solidified in my mind.
You know, this is really the power of leadership, right? If you're able to hone this leadership presence in, you can start creating for people these thoughts about you and that helps them, again, see themselves, but also lead however they feel is the most important for the company, because they're aligned to that purpose. So you wanna focus on what is the presence you wanna have and what are the thoughts that can help reinforce those feelings in you, right?
If you channel it into this, like how you wanna show up, it replaces the self-doubt and the negative thinking that could come up if you're just on autopilot, right? If you're on autopilot and you don't feel prepared and you feel scared, your mind is going to offer you more negative thoughts versus if you decide ahead of time how you want your presence to be, how you wanna show up, you will be more able to get into positive self-talk and focus on how you actually want to show up.
So for me, instead of thinking about my kids and the schedule and the pickup and all this stuff, I keep just redirecting my brain to what matters. What's my purpose? How do I want my presence to be?
And then the last step, this is one that really helps us to anchor ourselves, which is using positioning words. So first, you define your purpose. Why is this thing important to me? Two, you want to cultivate your presence. How do you wanna show up? And then three, this is really your CliffsNotes. If you are an 80s child and remember CliffsNotes, these are the three words that embody the qualities you want to project.
For example, when I asked my client, what are those three words, right? If you're in this town hall, how do you actually want to show up? And she said, connected, warm, and playful, right? So that's what she came up with after doing defining the purpose, cultivating the presence, and those were the three words. And I literally have my clients write it on their notebook or whatever is in front of them.
Because what will happen is, maybe you go up on stage to do that town hall and there's a tech problem or something's going on that causes you to get distracted, but you have your three words, you go back to them, you're like connected, warm, playful, right? Not getting anxious over the tech issues, making a joke about the tech issues, you know, getting into that warm space.
And I wanna offer, you can also use these for other purposes, like if you have a board meeting, for example, another client I have, she had a board meeting and she wanted to come across firm, authoritative, and open, right?
Because that openness, right, allows for curiosity and not defensiveness, and that authority, though, being authoritative and firm, like also helped to ground her. And so you wanna be able to pick the three words that most align with the purpose and the presence that you wanna be conveying and projecting to people. And again, you can use this even when you're transitioning into your personal life.
So oftentimes, if I'm transitioning from a big work thing into my personal life, I wanna give myself a moment. And when I am with my kids, I want to be calm, as calm as I can be as a parent of like, you know, kids under five. Calm, curious, and playful, right? Like I want to be in that space too, right? And the more I direct myself to that, the less I get triggered by the messes that happen, the less I focus on negative things or logistics. I can help myself to be more present and show up, you know, leading my family how I wanna lead them.
So I really want you to practice this as a way of being and a way to have more control over how you are presenting yourself and what that leadership presence can actually create more of in your life. Because if you noticed yourself, it could be clear, confident, and composed, and you start practicing this, what happens is that you start showing up differently and people are attracted to your energy and they're attracted to how you're saying things, your way of being. And this could actually create lots of different positive career progressive changes in your life. And it all starts with you owning that leadership presence.
So just like with my other client, instead of that dead animal energy, and she shows up with feeling more confident, clear, and composure, right, that creates something very different for her team than what she would have unintentionally created with that dead animal energy. So I want you to practice these steps. They're pretty simple.
Number one, define your purpose. What are you wanting to create in this moment as you are being present, right? In this meeting, it could just be you joining a meeting, not multitasking, it could be you asking more questions, being curious. So what would that purpose require? What presence would you need to cultivate? How do you need to show up? And this visualization is really key too, because if you're a more visual person, you'll have that visualization show up in your head to ground yourself and help you move towards those. And then of course, the three anchoring words, the positioning words to help you keep grounded, even if you're distracted for a moment, that you get yourself back to these three words and you use these three simple steps to up-level your leadership presence.
Okay, I want to hear how this is impacting you. I want to know how using these three simple steps to up-level your leadership presence is changing the way that you're showing up in the world, changing the way that people are seeing you, and then changing how you feel about yourself. Do you feel more confident in yourself? How is all of this impacting you?
So please DM me, connect with me, write a review. I'd love to hear this. I've had lots of clients say, this is such a simple yet powerful tool, and they're teaching other people in their lives to use it. Emotional intelligence can sometimes feel very complicated, but these three simple steps make it easy, simple, and doable for anyone. It really is a matter of practicing it enough times and starting to master this for yourself that can really help open up different opportunities for you.
Okay, so that was three simple steps to uplevel your leadership presence and I will see you next week. We have another episode that is coming up and I can't wait to connect with you then. Have a wonderful, beautiful week ahead. Thank you!
Thank you for being a part of The Balanced Leader community. We hope you found today's episode inspiring and actionable. For more resources and to connect with Yann, visit us at aspire-coaching.co. Until next time, keep leading with confidence and purpose.
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