23. Overcome Imposter Syndrome with Your Power Circle
Do you ever feel like imposter syndrome is holding you back from taking risks and pursuing opportunities in your career? You're not alone. In fact, research shows that a staggering 86% of women struggle with imposter syndrome, and it significantly impacts their ability to lead with confidence.
But what if I told you that building a strong support network could be the secret weapon to silencing your inner critic and unlocking your full potential as a leader? In today's episode, we dive into how surrounding yourself with the right people at the right time can help you overcome imposter syndrome, boost your confidence, and embrace your true capabilities.
Join me as I share powerful strategies for cultivating a circle of support that will challenge you, uplift you, and reflect your strengths back to you. You'll learn why imposter syndrome thrives in isolation and how connecting with mentors, peers, and coaches can provide the validation and encouragement you need to combat self-doubt.
Whether you're leading a team, making big bold decisions, or tackling tough conversations, confidence is the key to showing up powerfully. That's why I created the Confidence Hack, a simple yet powerful tool that has helped tons of women just like you break free from limiting beliefs and step fully into their potential.
Click here to download the Confidence Hack for free now!
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
Why imposter syndrome disproportionately affects high-achieving women and leads to feelings of isolation.
How building a trusted circle of support can reflect your real strengths and values back to you.
The emotional and practical benefits of having a strong support system.
Strategies for identifying mentors, engaging with peers, working with a coach, and cultivating an inner circle.
How to leverage your support network to combat imposter syndrome by asking for specific feedback, celebrating wins, and sharing vulnerabilities.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
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Do Women Have Access to the Social Support They Need? - Gallup
How Networking Communities Empower Women Entrepreneurs to Thrive - Forbes
Full Episode Transcript:
Research from KPMG shows that 86% of women who struggle with imposter syndrome feel that it significantly impacts their ability to take risks and pursue opportunities. But here's the good news. Building a strong support network can be one of the most powerful tools to silence your inner critic.
In today's episode, we're diving deep into how surrounding yourself with the right people at the right time can be your secret weapon to overcoming imposter syndrome, boosting your confidence, and embracing your full potential as a leader.
Welcome to The Balanced Leader, hosted by Yann Dang, a Leadership and Life Coach with over 20 years of corporate experience. Drawing from her journey as a former global finance leader and second-generation immigrant, Yann understands the unique challenges women face in male-dominated workplaces.
Each episode offers insights on balancing masculine and feminine energies, mastering soft skills, and building emotional intelligence. Join us to transform frustration into empowerment and unlock your authentic leadership potential.
Hey, podcast listeners, welcome to today's show. We are going to dive into the subject of how to create a powerful inner circle, a support network that supports you in overcoming and crushing those feelings that you might have around imposter syndrome.
We're going to talk about how imposter syndrome disproportionately affects high achieving women, which often leaves women to feeling isolated, deepening the feelings of inadequacy. We're gonna dive into what you can do about this, and I'm gonna share a lot of powerful stats that can support you as you think about how to create this support network for yourself.
All right, so this comes at a really interesting time because I actually just spent a week with a group of women. I called it the CEO retreat. I was with other entrepreneur women who also happened to be moms. They were in a mastermind coaching program with me and we all decided to go to Austin, Texas, meet in person. We talk on chats all day long. We text each other. As an entrepreneur, it's super important to have a support network, right, and not just be alone.
What I wanna underline that it's not just important for entrepreneurs to do this, but it's also super important for high-achieving executive women, who oftentimes are the only women in the room and feel like alone already because they're experiencing so many different things that their peers or other people in their personal life have never experienced.
So I just want to share going to meet the women that I was with in building their businesses, me building my businesses, what we actually focused on wasn't so much the tactical stuff or the strategy of building a business.
What we really focused on and what oftentimes when we're doing our day-to-day task, what we don't spend enough time on is thinking about ourselves and thinking about how we see ourselves in three years, in five years, and what is getting in the way of us growing our, you know, ability to see ourselves in a bigger way. Maybe you call it your self-concept, right? What is in the way of that?
And so we all shared about our own version of like imposter syndrome and what was coming up for us and that the way that we were thinking about ourselves was creating habits in our business and limiting the way that we could be growing and expanding and scaling. And so just being together for a week and fully focusing on that was super powerful.
I walked away feeling super confident in myself and also having this group of women who know me deeply, now I get to talk to them every week, and I had talked to them every week, but now they even know the work that I need to do. So they can be my sort of 911 support when I need it, right? And they also know the behaviors that I was doing that kind of was coming from limiting beliefs or imposter syndrome, and they can support me through all of that, right?
So I just wanna underline the importance of this, and then we're gonna talk into the whole link between imposter syndrome and isolation, and I'm gonna share with you some ways that you could start building this power circle for yourself and creating these communities that can literally overcome your imposter syndrome because they are so powerful and you are sharing more of yourself and expanding and not being so isolated and stuck in this imposter syndrome cycle.
Okay, let's dive in. I wanna share a study that KPMG did in 2020. It talks about how nearly 75% of executive women reported feeling imposter syndrome, and for most of them, it led to feeling like they had to prove themselves without support. There's a big link between imposter syndrome and isolation. So imposter syndrome really thrives in isolation. It thrives in you feeling ashamed about yourself. Where self-doubt goes unchecked and there's little external feedback to counter that negative self-talk, then you just stay stuck in it.
So I want you to know that if you are a high-achieving woman and you are oftentimes feeling alone in navigating your career, especially being in a male-dominated space, that it doesn't need to be this way. You can literally surround yourself with people, with women that have very similar jobs as you in very similar environments. And the more you do this, the more you will feel less like an imposter, the more you will less likely retreat inward and isolate yourself, which actually amplifies that self-doubt.
So building a trusted circle of support that can reflect your real strengths and values back to you is going to be incredibly important, especially if you are a woman, and maybe the only woman in a male-dominated space.
Even in the coaching groups that I create where, again, they're with other women hearing their stories, relating to them, they just feel so much less alone. And their imposter syndrome becomes more open and known, and so then it's something that they could work on, that they can overcome, that they are not isolated and spinning in their own circle of shame and self-doubt.
They're actually sharing their story, relating to other people, and realizing, number one, it's normal to feel this way and to have these experiences. And number two, having that support network to reflect back on you is really impactful. And they can oftentimes see things in you that you can't see in yourself.
So why is a strong support network? Why does this really matter to you? So Gallup research found that employees with strong social connections at work are 12 times more likely to feel engaged in their role and five times more likely to report high levels of well-being. So it's incredibly important to have these strong social connections, but oftentimes if you're the only woman in the room and there's not men that could relate to you or that you feel connected to in that deeper way, this is why it's even more important to create this network for yourself outside.
For me, when I was in corporate, I always had my sort of circle of trust. And I remember specifically who they were. It was the head of HR, a man named Kurt, that I worked very closely with. And we were sort of in each other's circle of trust and then also Jennifer Locker who was the CMO at the time.
She was also somebody that I would often talk to and we would often meet after the meeting and we would connect with each other and vent with each other and validate each other's feelings, but also help each other get back to responsibility. It was incredibly healthy and supportive for me to have this group of people that I could always rely on. But sometimes we don't have that, right? Sometimes you are the only, like literally the only woman at this highest level and it's really hard to talk to anybody else.
This is why it's so important to build that network, to connect with more women at your level that have similar experiences. So you want to counteract that sort of imposter syndrome thought in your mind with external validation and consistent support. Now I know I do a lot of work, I have a whole episode on internal validation and self-validation.
Yes, it's important, but it's also important to build a network where you can get externally validated where people can actually say, listen, I hear what you've been through. I've been through something the same. And if they've been a couple steps before you, they can say, this is how I dealt with it. This is how I wish I dealt with it.
There are literally emotional and practical benefits of having this type of support system. Regular feedback, a safe space to voice your doubt, people who will reflect your strength back to you when that self-doubt creeps in. So you want to have that support network, the people who are, you know, willing to tell you the truth, people who are willing to say, hey, I think you're in a lot of drama here, or maybe they're willing to also say, listen, that was something really painful that happened. Let's talk about that. I want to help you unpack that.
But you, as you're empowering yourself and you need to support yourself, and you might not have those people readily available to you, you learning that skill set to create the support network for you is critical. And having a strong support network will help you see yourself the way other people see you.
Capable, deserving, and fully equipped for success. And having somebody believe that about you can really help you overcome imposter syndrome and unlock different levels of leadership potential. So how do you go about building that? I just wanna give you some strategies as you start thinking about this for yourself.
But again, underlying the importance of this, especially being a female leader in a male-dominated space. You're going to want to have this in your back pocket so that they're not just people that are in your life in and out, but that know you and can provide support for you as you go through different phases of your leadership.
So here are a few strategies to build your circle of support. Firstly, identify some mentors. Seek out mentors who are further along in this journey than you and you want to be able to provide wisdom, insight, perspectives. You want them to help you reframe that imposter syndrome as a growth opportunity.
I literally remember when I was really up against something difficult, a sales leader was very upset with me. She actually went to HR and said I was rude and unprofessional. And of course, my HR leader, who I am close to, was like, well, she was really serious. You need to figure this out or address it. You know, he wasn't just like, oh, you know, siding with me. He was just telling me what was going on and really holding his role as HR. And I was like, okay, well, let me go figure this out. I had a lot of drama, a lot of upset.
And I actually called a former mentor of mine who was the CFO of a large company. And she was kind of like the most senior person I had met when I was starting in my journey and had really been a sponsor for me. And so when I gave her the feedback of what I had heard, she just made it super clear to me. She was like, as long as I've known you, I have never known you to be rude or unprofessional.
And I don't know what shifted in me, but just hearing that from her helped me slip away from all of the drama and all of the self-doubt, and it just helped me feel grounded in who I was because of who she is and how she had experienced me and my belief of like, why would she lie to me? And this really helped me, you know, move from self-doubt to taking responsibility and calling the sales leader and having a discussion with her and taking responsibility for what I said, but not just going in there being like, I'm sorry, I was rude and unprofessional.
I literally just focused on what I did and what I said and how I might say it differently the next time. And it was super interesting just having that conversation with my mentor helped me to move fast, move quickly, believe in myself again, remember that I'm capable, right?
Harvard Business Review actually had a study where it found that women with mentors are significantly more likely to break into senior leadership roles and have higher levels of self-assurance due to having strong advocates. And that was super true for me. You know, when I had sponsors in the business and mentors that cared about me, they were definitely talking about me when I wasn't in their room. And they were definitely thinking about me when they were doing succession planning and org chart designs.
So you need to have these mentors. They're super important, especially if you are a woman leader in a male-dominated space. The other thing is engaging with peers. Like I told you, I had my HR person and my CMO and I had people in my leadership team that I could surround myself with that were facing similar challenges. We may have had similar challenges with similar people. And this peer support provides so much mutuality and encouragement and validation without the hierarchical dynamic of a mentor relationship.
So I always have my clients when they're starting a new job think about, as they look at the organizational landscape and as they're meeting people, who are going to be your strategic allies, right? Who is going to be there for you? And who are you going to be there for?
Sometimes these things form very unconsciously, really naturally, but sometimes you need to be intentional about forming these relationships. And the more intentional you are, the better equipped you're going to be to crush that imposter syndrome when it comes up. You're going to have a group of people to support you through all your self-doubt, maybe reality check with you, you know, what's actually going on or how you feel like you presented yourself.
Another example that I have is a client, she was feeling like she said something really embarrassing that didn't land well with the leadership team. And I said, hey, did you talk to anybody in that meeting that were your peers? And first she said she didn't. And then we talked about who could she ask. And she thought, oh, actually, I can ask the HR leader and I can ask the CTO.
And so after our coaching session, she went and did that. And she just reality checked with them and they were like, oh no, that really wasn't what happened or that's not what we saw happening. The CTO actually said, I think you made a really valid point, and there was a lot of silence because people were really thinking about what you said.
So in her mind, she was interpreting the silence as something bad or something going wrong, but in his mind, he was like, no, it was such a good question that people had to pause and think about it. And then the HR leader, she said, actually, I didn't think what you had to say was anything bad. I actually thought it was very obvious. And I've been thinking this over and over, and I was just glad that you said it out loud.
So she just got two very different perspectives and that was super helpful because she could have been sitting in shame for longer, doubting herself, questioning herself, coming into the next leadership team meeting small and timid, but she instead showed up head up high, very clear, and very much intentional. And that came from reality-checking her version of what she felt went down versus her peers. So again, this is super important, building strategic allies and having peers around you.
The next one is working with a coach. Obviously, I think everyone should have a coach and if you can have the luxury of having a coach, this is something that could really support you in overcoming imposter syndrome. Coaches help you unpack limiting beliefs, often strategizing with you to shift your mindset, and of course, celebrating your successes, no matter how small, right?
Oftentimes, my clients will be like, oh, that wasn't a big thing. And I was like, that was a huge thing. You just think it was a small thing because you've been practicing this muscle over and over in our sessions. But three months ago, you would have never done that.
I actually literally had a client who was always people pleasing and always questioning herself and in so much self-doubt that, you know, we've been working together for about three months now and she's like, I don't even think about those things anymore. They come up as thoughts but they're not strong. I'm more concerned about how is this going to impact me? How am I going to take care of myself? And much less concerned about people-pleasing.
But in the beginning, the three months when we first started, she literally said, you know, she had something even super small. She was like, "I wanted a specific table at this restaurant. I didn't get it. I wanted to ask for it, but I didn't. I allowed that people-pleasing part of me, that muscle, that self-doubt, totally took over,” and she just allowed it to because she wasn't aware of it.
And three months later, she is, you know, taking control. She actually said, "I was at a hotel, I wanted a new room, it was midnight, it was going to cause a lot of trouble, but I said, it doesn't matter. I am a customer here and it's really important to please me." And so I just want to show you that those types of shifts that can happen within ourselves can happen much quicker when you have a coach. When you consciously say, "I want to work on this, I want to overcome my imposter syndrome. I want to overcome my people-pleasing patterns." This is literally something you can work with a coach on.
And then lastly, cultivating an inner circle. Again, this can be personal or professional, and you can use this. You know, I have an inner circle for, you know, my mom group, right, like moms that I connect with. And we're really focusing on that piece of it, you know, oftentimes, it's mom and being career driven.
Then, of course, I've got my group of female entrepreneurs that I network with that we cultivate strong bonds with, you know, and then I have a network of other people that I'm focused on, you know, more of my relationship with finances and how I want to look at that. And I have coaching around those pieces. And I have these inner circles, right? Because I have people in my life that I want to support me and I want to be able to rely on them when I am in a situation where I have lots of feelings, lots of thoughts that I want to unravel, right?
So building a close-knit group of individuals who support your growth and validate your achievements, this network should both challenge and uplift you when you need it most.
So having this and building it doesn't need to take a long time. It takes more purpose and intentionality. You know, this group of women that I was just away with, one of them was like, let's meet up. And another one was like, okay. And then it kind of like died out a little bit. And then it kind of like came up alive again. I was like, actually, let's do it. I think I could really use it. So we just all just needed to speak up and make it happen.
And I'm somebody who, when I am purposeful and intentional, I am super decisive. I make it happen. Reaching out to people, networking with people, making things happen for yourself. This is something you are more than capable of if you put your mind to, and it's a critical tool that can really help you overcome any imposter syndrome, any self-doubt.
Lastly, how to leverage that network to combat imposter syndrome. Ask for feedback, specifically. Ask for feedback about how you're showing up. I loved having a group when I was doing group coaching. I loved having that group because I was working on my leadership presence, and I was working on having more of a commanding presence.
So having people give me that feedback regularly was super helpful. Or even telling me in the moment, wow, okay, your leadership in this moment, I want to be led by you. They were like pointing those things out, but I took responsibility to tell them what type of feedback I want.
Oftentimes people are too vague about the feedback that they want. And so a lot of times people are like, do I have permission to talk about this? Am I giving everybody feedback on just things in general or is it specific? The more specific and purposeful you can get, the better you're going to be able to support yourself through whatever imposter syndrome thoughts or feelings you're having.
The next one is celebrating your wins. It was so much fun to be with these women where we could openly talk about the finances of our business, how much money we've made, how much money we want to make in the future, millions of dollars. And it's not common to be in a group with women where you're just openly talking about money and there's not that taboo around it. It was super impactful to say, I want to make millions of dollars by this date. And we were all, you know, cheering each other on and supporting each other in that vision and really asking ourselves tough questions.
And then lastly, sharing your vulnerabilities really This is related to that feedback loop, but this is where you start opening up about you and about the vulnerabilities that you feel.
So you know, one of the things that I shared was like that I haven't really been talking about myself in the marketing that I've been doing. I've been giving a lot of high-value content and processes and skills, but my next level of a vulnerability for me and my clients is for me to open up more about my career journey, the challenges, the failures, all of the things that I've been through to really help people connect with me at a deeper level.
But by being able to even share that with this group of women, I was able to feel more confident in doing that. I was able to feel braver and I'm more convicted, and now I have two people to hold me accountable to that. They wanna see my marketing plan, they wanna see pictures of me, they wanna know more about me because that's my next level of work.
So for you as a female leader in a male-dominated space, it could look like I wanna be the CEO someday, I'm ready to take this on, And having a group of women or a group of people around you that could hear the vulnerability of you saying that, but also want so much for you. And the more you're saying it and the more it feels real to you, the more you're going to go after that and the less you're going to allow imposter syndrome to stop you.
Together, you can all work to shift your mindset and to support each other and yourself through this big journey and having big dreams and having a big life. Research by Forbes actually shows that women who regularly engage with their support network report feeling 40% more confident in their decision-making and leadership capabilities.
Here again is another example where If you're out there supporting other women and engaging with other women and you can all support each other in this way, you're going to start feeling more confident in yourself and you're going to make quicker decisions and believe in more of your leadership capabilities.
Okay, so that is today's episode. It's really about the importance of cultivating a strong, supportive network to mitigate imposter syndrome. I wanna encourage you to identify at least one person in your network this week, whether it's a mentor, peer, or coach, and have a conversation about your challenges and achievements.
Remember, you don't have to tackle imposter syndrome on your own. Reach out to your network, let others reflect back to you your true accomplishments, and start building the confidence that's already within you.
If you're looking to dive in deeper into this topic, consider booking a consultation with me. I'd love to connect with you and turn your imposter syndrome into an opportunity for growth. So feel free to do that. You can definitely find me on LinkedIn, and I'd love to hear how this episode impacted you.
So go out there and build that powerful, supportive network that you not only deserve, but is something that's going to support you to overcome any imposter syndrome and to really equip yourself with this sort of dream team to elevate yourself and continue trailblazing, doing the things, inspiring people all around you.
All right that is the episode for this week. I will see you next week. Have a great week ahead.
Thank you for being a part of The Balanced Leader community. We hope you found today's episode inspiring and actionable. For more resources and to connect with Yann, visit us at aspire-coaching.co. Until next time, keep leading with confidence and purpose.
In today's episode, we're diving deep into how surrounding yourself with the right people at the right time can be your secret weapon to overcoming imposter syndrome, boosting your confidence, and embracing your full potential as a leader.
Welcome to The Balanced Leader, hosted by Yann Dang, a Leadership and Life Coach with over 20 years of corporate experience. Drawing from her journey as a former global finance leader and second-generation immigrant, Yann understands the unique challenges women face in male-dominated workplaces.
Each episode offers insights on balancing masculine and feminine energies, mastering soft skills, and building emotional intelligence. Join us to transform frustration into empowerment and unlock your authentic leadership potential.
Hey, podcast listeners, welcome to today's show. We are going to dive into the subject of how to create a powerful inner circle, a support network that supports you in overcoming and crushing those feelings that you might have around imposter syndrome.
We're going to talk about how imposter syndrome disproportionately affects high achieving women, which often leaves women to feeling isolated, deepening the feelings of inadequacy. We're gonna dive into what you can do about this, and I'm gonna share a lot of powerful stats that can support you as you think about how to create this support network for yourself.
All right, so this comes at a really interesting time because I actually just spent a week with a group of women. I called it the CEO retreat. I was with other entrepreneur women who also happened to be moms. They were in a mastermind coaching program with me and we all decided to go to Austin, Texas, meet in person. We talk on chats all day long. We text each other. As an entrepreneur, it's super important to have a support network, right, and not just be alone.
What I wanna underline that it's not just important for entrepreneurs to do this, but it's also super important for high-achieving executive women, who oftentimes are the only women in the room and feel like alone already because they're experiencing so many different things that their peers or other people in their personal life have never experienced.
So I just want to share going to meet the women that I was with in building their businesses, me building my businesses, what we actually focused on wasn't so much the tactical stuff or the strategy of building a business.
What we really focused on and what oftentimes when we're doing our day-to-day task, what we don't spend enough time on is thinking about ourselves and thinking about how we see ourselves in three years, in five years, and what is getting in the way of us growing our, you know, ability to see ourselves in a bigger way. Maybe you call it your self-concept, right? What is in the way of that?
And so we all shared about our own version of like imposter syndrome and what was coming up for us and that the way that we were thinking about ourselves was creating habits in our business and limiting the way that we could be growing and expanding and scaling. And so just being together for a week and fully focusing on that was super powerful.
I walked away feeling super confident in myself and also having this group of women who know me deeply, now I get to talk to them every week, and I had talked to them every week, but now they even know the work that I need to do. So they can be my sort of 911 support when I need it, right? And they also know the behaviors that I was doing that kind of was coming from limiting beliefs or imposter syndrome, and they can support me through all of that, right?
So I just wanna underline the importance of this, and then we're gonna talk into the whole link between imposter syndrome and isolation, and I'm gonna share with you some ways that you could start building this power circle for yourself and creating these communities that can literally overcome your imposter syndrome because they are so powerful and you are sharing more of yourself and expanding and not being so isolated and stuck in this imposter syndrome cycle.
Okay, let's dive in. I wanna share a study that KPMG did in 2020. It talks about how nearly 75% of executive women reported feeling imposter syndrome, and for most of them, it led to feeling like they had to prove themselves without support. There's a big link between imposter syndrome and isolation. So imposter syndrome really thrives in isolation. It thrives in you feeling ashamed about yourself. Where self-doubt goes unchecked and there's little external feedback to counter that negative self-talk, then you just stay stuck in it.
So I want you to know that if you are a high-achieving woman and you are oftentimes feeling alone in navigating your career, especially being in a male-dominated space, that it doesn't need to be this way. You can literally surround yourself with people, with women that have very similar jobs as you in very similar environments. And the more you do this, the more you will feel less like an imposter, the more you will less likely retreat inward and isolate yourself, which actually amplifies that self-doubt.
So building a trusted circle of support that can reflect your real strengths and values back to you is going to be incredibly important, especially if you are a woman, and maybe the only woman in a male-dominated space.
Even in the coaching groups that I create where, again, they're with other women hearing their stories, relating to them, they just feel so much less alone. And their imposter syndrome becomes more open and known, and so then it's something that they could work on, that they can overcome, that they are not isolated and spinning in their own circle of shame and self-doubt.
They're actually sharing their story, relating to other people, and realizing, number one, it's normal to feel this way and to have these experiences. And number two, having that support network to reflect back on you is really impactful. And they can oftentimes see things in you that you can't see in yourself.
So why is a strong support network? Why does this really matter to you? So Gallup research found that employees with strong social connections at work are 12 times more likely to feel engaged in their role and five times more likely to report high levels of well-being. So it's incredibly important to have these strong social connections, but oftentimes if you're the only woman in the room and there's not men that could relate to you or that you feel connected to in that deeper way, this is why it's even more important to create this network for yourself outside.
For me, when I was in corporate, I always had my sort of circle of trust. And I remember specifically who they were. It was the head of HR, a man named Kurt, that I worked very closely with. And we were sort of in each other's circle of trust and then also Jennifer Locker who was the CMO at the time.
She was also somebody that I would often talk to and we would often meet after the meeting and we would connect with each other and vent with each other and validate each other's feelings, but also help each other get back to responsibility. It was incredibly healthy and supportive for me to have this group of people that I could always rely on. But sometimes we don't have that, right? Sometimes you are the only, like literally the only woman at this highest level and it's really hard to talk to anybody else.
This is why it's so important to build that network, to connect with more women at your level that have similar experiences. So you want to counteract that sort of imposter syndrome thought in your mind with external validation and consistent support. Now I know I do a lot of work, I have a whole episode on internal validation and self-validation.
Yes, it's important, but it's also important to build a network where you can get externally validated where people can actually say, listen, I hear what you've been through. I've been through something the same. And if they've been a couple steps before you, they can say, this is how I dealt with it. This is how I wish I dealt with it.
There are literally emotional and practical benefits of having this type of support system. Regular feedback, a safe space to voice your doubt, people who will reflect your strength back to you when that self-doubt creeps in. So you want to have that support network, the people who are, you know, willing to tell you the truth, people who are willing to say, hey, I think you're in a lot of drama here, or maybe they're willing to also say, listen, that was something really painful that happened. Let's talk about that. I want to help you unpack that.
But you, as you're empowering yourself and you need to support yourself, and you might not have those people readily available to you, you learning that skill set to create the support network for you is critical. And having a strong support network will help you see yourself the way other people see you.
Capable, deserving, and fully equipped for success. And having somebody believe that about you can really help you overcome imposter syndrome and unlock different levels of leadership potential. So how do you go about building that? I just wanna give you some strategies as you start thinking about this for yourself.
But again, underlying the importance of this, especially being a female leader in a male-dominated space. You're going to want to have this in your back pocket so that they're not just people that are in your life in and out, but that know you and can provide support for you as you go through different phases of your leadership.
So here are a few strategies to build your circle of support. Firstly, identify some mentors. Seek out mentors who are further along in this journey than you and you want to be able to provide wisdom, insight, perspectives. You want them to help you reframe that imposter syndrome as a growth opportunity.
I literally remember when I was really up against something difficult, a sales leader was very upset with me. She actually went to HR and said I was rude and unprofessional. And of course, my HR leader, who I am close to, was like, well, she was really serious. You need to figure this out or address it. You know, he wasn't just like, oh, you know, siding with me. He was just telling me what was going on and really holding his role as HR. And I was like, okay, well, let me go figure this out. I had a lot of drama, a lot of upset.
And I actually called a former mentor of mine who was the CFO of a large company. And she was kind of like the most senior person I had met when I was starting in my journey and had really been a sponsor for me. And so when I gave her the feedback of what I had heard, she just made it super clear to me. She was like, as long as I've known you, I have never known you to be rude or unprofessional.
And I don't know what shifted in me, but just hearing that from her helped me slip away from all of the drama and all of the self-doubt, and it just helped me feel grounded in who I was because of who she is and how she had experienced me and my belief of like, why would she lie to me? And this really helped me, you know, move from self-doubt to taking responsibility and calling the sales leader and having a discussion with her and taking responsibility for what I said, but not just going in there being like, I'm sorry, I was rude and unprofessional.
I literally just focused on what I did and what I said and how I might say it differently the next time. And it was super interesting just having that conversation with my mentor helped me to move fast, move quickly, believe in myself again, remember that I'm capable, right?
Harvard Business Review actually had a study where it found that women with mentors are significantly more likely to break into senior leadership roles and have higher levels of self-assurance due to having strong advocates. And that was super true for me. You know, when I had sponsors in the business and mentors that cared about me, they were definitely talking about me when I wasn't in their room. And they were definitely thinking about me when they were doing succession planning and org chart designs.
So you need to have these mentors. They're super important, especially if you are a woman leader in a male-dominated space. The other thing is engaging with peers. Like I told you, I had my HR person and my CMO and I had people in my leadership team that I could surround myself with that were facing similar challenges. We may have had similar challenges with similar people. And this peer support provides so much mutuality and encouragement and validation without the hierarchical dynamic of a mentor relationship.
So I always have my clients when they're starting a new job think about, as they look at the organizational landscape and as they're meeting people, who are going to be your strategic allies, right? Who is going to be there for you? And who are you going to be there for?
Sometimes these things form very unconsciously, really naturally, but sometimes you need to be intentional about forming these relationships. And the more intentional you are, the better equipped you're going to be to crush that imposter syndrome when it comes up. You're going to have a group of people to support you through all your self-doubt, maybe reality check with you, you know, what's actually going on or how you feel like you presented yourself.
Another example that I have is a client, she was feeling like she said something really embarrassing that didn't land well with the leadership team. And I said, hey, did you talk to anybody in that meeting that were your peers? And first she said she didn't. And then we talked about who could she ask. And she thought, oh, actually, I can ask the HR leader and I can ask the CTO.
And so after our coaching session, she went and did that. And she just reality checked with them and they were like, oh no, that really wasn't what happened or that's not what we saw happening. The CTO actually said, I think you made a really valid point, and there was a lot of silence because people were really thinking about what you said.
So in her mind, she was interpreting the silence as something bad or something going wrong, but in his mind, he was like, no, it was such a good question that people had to pause and think about it. And then the HR leader, she said, actually, I didn't think what you had to say was anything bad. I actually thought it was very obvious. And I've been thinking this over and over, and I was just glad that you said it out loud.
So she just got two very different perspectives and that was super helpful because she could have been sitting in shame for longer, doubting herself, questioning herself, coming into the next leadership team meeting small and timid, but she instead showed up head up high, very clear, and very much intentional. And that came from reality-checking her version of what she felt went down versus her peers. So again, this is super important, building strategic allies and having peers around you.
The next one is working with a coach. Obviously, I think everyone should have a coach and if you can have the luxury of having a coach, this is something that could really support you in overcoming imposter syndrome. Coaches help you unpack limiting beliefs, often strategizing with you to shift your mindset, and of course, celebrating your successes, no matter how small, right?
Oftentimes, my clients will be like, oh, that wasn't a big thing. And I was like, that was a huge thing. You just think it was a small thing because you've been practicing this muscle over and over in our sessions. But three months ago, you would have never done that.
I actually literally had a client who was always people pleasing and always questioning herself and in so much self-doubt that, you know, we've been working together for about three months now and she's like, I don't even think about those things anymore. They come up as thoughts but they're not strong. I'm more concerned about how is this going to impact me? How am I going to take care of myself? And much less concerned about people-pleasing.
But in the beginning, the three months when we first started, she literally said, you know, she had something even super small. She was like, "I wanted a specific table at this restaurant. I didn't get it. I wanted to ask for it, but I didn't. I allowed that people-pleasing part of me, that muscle, that self-doubt, totally took over,” and she just allowed it to because she wasn't aware of it.
And three months later, she is, you know, taking control. She actually said, "I was at a hotel, I wanted a new room, it was midnight, it was going to cause a lot of trouble, but I said, it doesn't matter. I am a customer here and it's really important to please me." And so I just want to show you that those types of shifts that can happen within ourselves can happen much quicker when you have a coach. When you consciously say, "I want to work on this, I want to overcome my imposter syndrome. I want to overcome my people-pleasing patterns." This is literally something you can work with a coach on.
And then lastly, cultivating an inner circle. Again, this can be personal or professional, and you can use this. You know, I have an inner circle for, you know, my mom group, right, like moms that I connect with. And we're really focusing on that piece of it, you know, oftentimes, it's mom and being career driven.
Then, of course, I've got my group of female entrepreneurs that I network with that we cultivate strong bonds with, you know, and then I have a network of other people that I'm focused on, you know, more of my relationship with finances and how I want to look at that. And I have coaching around those pieces. And I have these inner circles, right? Because I have people in my life that I want to support me and I want to be able to rely on them when I am in a situation where I have lots of feelings, lots of thoughts that I want to unravel, right?
So building a close-knit group of individuals who support your growth and validate your achievements, this network should both challenge and uplift you when you need it most.
So having this and building it doesn't need to take a long time. It takes more purpose and intentionality. You know, this group of women that I was just away with, one of them was like, let's meet up. And another one was like, okay. And then it kind of like died out a little bit. And then it kind of like came up alive again. I was like, actually, let's do it. I think I could really use it. So we just all just needed to speak up and make it happen.
And I'm somebody who, when I am purposeful and intentional, I am super decisive. I make it happen. Reaching out to people, networking with people, making things happen for yourself. This is something you are more than capable of if you put your mind to, and it's a critical tool that can really help you overcome any imposter syndrome, any self-doubt.
Lastly, how to leverage that network to combat imposter syndrome. Ask for feedback, specifically. Ask for feedback about how you're showing up. I loved having a group when I was doing group coaching. I loved having that group because I was working on my leadership presence, and I was working on having more of a commanding presence.
So having people give me that feedback regularly was super helpful. Or even telling me in the moment, wow, okay, your leadership in this moment, I want to be led by you. They were like pointing those things out, but I took responsibility to tell them what type of feedback I want.
Oftentimes people are too vague about the feedback that they want. And so a lot of times people are like, do I have permission to talk about this? Am I giving everybody feedback on just things in general or is it specific? The more specific and purposeful you can get, the better you're going to be able to support yourself through whatever imposter syndrome thoughts or feelings you're having.
The next one is celebrating your wins. It was so much fun to be with these women where we could openly talk about the finances of our business, how much money we've made, how much money we want to make in the future, millions of dollars. And it's not common to be in a group with women where you're just openly talking about money and there's not that taboo around it. It was super impactful to say, I want to make millions of dollars by this date. And we were all, you know, cheering each other on and supporting each other in that vision and really asking ourselves tough questions.
And then lastly, sharing your vulnerabilities really This is related to that feedback loop, but this is where you start opening up about you and about the vulnerabilities that you feel.
So you know, one of the things that I shared was like that I haven't really been talking about myself in the marketing that I've been doing. I've been giving a lot of high-value content and processes and skills, but my next level of a vulnerability for me and my clients is for me to open up more about my career journey, the challenges, the failures, all of the things that I've been through to really help people connect with me at a deeper level.
But by being able to even share that with this group of women, I was able to feel more confident in doing that. I was able to feel braver and I'm more convicted, and now I have two people to hold me accountable to that. They wanna see my marketing plan, they wanna see pictures of me, they wanna know more about me because that's my next level of work.
So for you as a female leader in a male-dominated space, it could look like I wanna be the CEO someday, I'm ready to take this on, And having a group of women or a group of people around you that could hear the vulnerability of you saying that, but also want so much for you. And the more you're saying it and the more it feels real to you, the more you're going to go after that and the less you're going to allow imposter syndrome to stop you.
Together, you can all work to shift your mindset and to support each other and yourself through this big journey and having big dreams and having a big life. Research by Forbes actually shows that women who regularly engage with their support network report feeling 40% more confident in their decision-making and leadership capabilities.
Here again is another example where If you're out there supporting other women and engaging with other women and you can all support each other in this way, you're going to start feeling more confident in yourself and you're going to make quicker decisions and believe in more of your leadership capabilities.
Okay, so that is today's episode. It's really about the importance of cultivating a strong, supportive network to mitigate imposter syndrome. I wanna encourage you to identify at least one person in your network this week, whether it's a mentor, peer, or coach, and have a conversation about your challenges and achievements.
Remember, you don't have to tackle imposter syndrome on your own. Reach out to your network, let others reflect back to you your true accomplishments, and start building the confidence that's already within you.
If you're looking to dive in deeper into this topic, consider booking a consultation with me. I'd love to connect with you and turn your imposter syndrome into an opportunity for growth. So feel free to do that. You can definitely find me on LinkedIn, and I'd love to hear how this episode impacted you.
So go out there and build that powerful, supportive network that you not only deserve, but is something that's going to support you to overcome any imposter syndrome and to really equip yourself with this sort of dream team to elevate yourself and continue trailblazing, doing the things, inspiring people all around you.
All right that is the episode for this week. I will see you next week. Have a great week ahead.
Thank you for being a part of The Balanced Leader community. We hope you found today's episode inspiring and actionable. For more resources and to connect with Yann, visit us at aspire-coaching.co. Until next time, keep leading with confidence and purpose.
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